Embracing darkness
by ayametsuki
Summary: Would you still continue to love, when there is no hope left? When you were broken beyond repair? Would you still love, even without a heart?  More summary inside. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

_**Summary:** Would you still continue to love, when there is no hope left? When you were broken beyond repair? Would you still love, even without a heart? _

_**Spoilerish summary for those of you who want it:** Ichigo dies, and becomes a hollow. Can the power of love relieve him? And who pulls the strings from behind?Ichi/Hichi/Hime. Onesided Uryu/Hime (maybe Uryu/Tatsuki later on)._

_**Warning:** Character death. Darkness. Smut. (At some point.) And I hope to end it on a happier note, than the beginning. _

_Expect not too long, dabble-styled chapters for the most part._

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach. (And even if I did, I would never really kill Ichigo! So I don't know what's got into me... blame the stupid muse!)_

Embracing darkness

_Chapter 1_

Darkness. Cold. Sand. The desolate land of Hueco Mundo.

Two figures stood in the shadow of a bare tree. One was clearly a hollow, with a huge monster body, standing on four legs. The other... who knows? He had human form, but he concealed himself under a heavy black cloak. Only his deep voice gave away his gender.

'Do we have a deal? Attack him... lure him away from his body. Just do it... and my Master will reward you richly! I'll make sure to send you when the girl is with him, so you can run off with her, as a bait!'

A malicious roar from the hollow answered to the cloaked figure's words, showing eagerness. The man narrowed his eyes under the hood, and his mouth curved slightly upwards into a taunting grin.

'Just be careful! Least your appetite should prove bigger than what you can stomach!

…...

Zangetsu rose and fell... the hollow stood no chance.

'Orihime! Are you all right?'

Ichigo rushed to her side, and growled seeing the little gash on her cheek. He started cursing heavily. Orihime only smiled.

'Don't be silly. Of course I'm all right. You protected me... as always.'

She wanted to threw herself into his arms, but he held her back.

'Heal yourself first!'

She sighed.

'Really! This is nothing!'

Ichigo cupped the still whole side of her face, and gently ran his thumb across it, looking deeply into her eyes.

'For me, it's not.'

Orihime blushed a little. Even after a month of dating him, it still felt like a dream... Being this close to him. Seeing caring, even adoring light in his eyes when he looked at her. She now knew that it had been there before, but now he was letting her see it, feel it freely. She was so happy! Her world seemed finally completed.

She obediently called out her powers, and made the golden dome surround her wound. When she was done, Ichigo studied the reformed skin critically. He found no fault, so he kissed the formerly violated spot, and then her mouth too. But he drew back... too soon in Orihime's opinion.

'And now... let's get my body back, before some idiot takes it to the hospital again!' he said, scowling.

'All right!'

Neither of them realized anything when Ichigo returned to his living human body. Not even on the way, as he walked her home (only slowly, to lengthen the time spent together). Not even when they stood on her doorstep, kissing, and reluctantly saying goodby.

Ichigo started walking home alone, and he was already halfway, when he felt disturbance in the spiritual waves again. He knew immediately, that some hollow had come, and that the level of it's pressure was way higher than the one's before...

He immediately reached into his jeans back pocket, for his substitute badge... and found nothing! He searched, but it was nowhere. He couldn't transform...

And the monster roared...

…...

Orihime was preparing her dinner. She was cutting up the vegetables, humming a merry song. But then the notes suddenly died on her lips. The knife fell out of her hand.

…...

She was still standing there, not having moved an inch, when Chad and Uryu arrived, a complete hour later. They just let themselves in, Chad having to push the door open by force. She could hear them calling her softly. When she turned, and looked into their eyes, like a scared kitty-cat caught in the light of a car's headlamps, she knew that whatever hope she had left, was in wain.

She'd always been the best in sensing his spiritual pressure after all, and now it's gone. Disappeared completely. Without a trace.

When ever he went to Soul Society, she could still feel him, like through a veil. When he had lost his powers, and practically didn't have any spiritual pressure at all, she had still felt his presence somehow. Now, even that was missing...

And there was only one logical answer to why that could be.

…...

Orihime felt she would never be able to stand being there, at his funeral. But Tatsuki insisted she must go, and since she got closer to his family after they started dating she felt she owed this much to Isshin and the twins.

She stood her ground, not even crying until the black coffin was lowered into the grave, into the same one in which his mother already rested. But after she heard the first scoop of dirt falling down, making a horrible hollow sound banging on the lid, her head also fell, slamming into the ground.

…...

She regained consciousness in the Urahara Shop, surrounded by Tatsuki, Uryu and Chad. Her friends were talking in low voices, not realizing she was already awake. She kept her eyes closed, and listened.

'… so Urahara-san speculates, that the whole thing was planned? A set up?' Tatsuki asked.

'Yes. And I got to admit it makes sense.' Uryu answered. 'It had been fishy in the first place: two hollow attacks the same day, both focused on him... And we couldn't understand why he never transformed. If he did, we would have felt it, and rushed to his aid. But he didn't. While he had his faults, at least he was never careless about this. He always carried his substitute badge everywhere. That's why we think it must have been taken form him, without his knowledge, probably in time with the first attack.'

Tatsuki sighed.

'I see. It just feels so stupid... he was so strong. Could fight anyone. He fought so much for others... and in the end, he died not even being able to fight... for himself. I just know how he would hate this!'

'Arisawa-san...' Chad spoke up for the first time. The gentle giant spoke even less than his custom since his best friend's departure. 'I promise to you, we will find the one, or ones responsible.'

'Yes.' Uryu said. 'And we will found the hollow that took him! The least we can do for him is to cleanse that hollow, allowing his spirit to rest in peace in soul society...'

…...

_A/N: Chapter 2 is up too, I want to get you into the feel of this story...You are welcome to review! :-)_


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

_**/ A year later... /**_

'Ishida! Are you all right?'

'Yes... thanks, Sado!'

'Did we got all of them?'

'I think so... I don't feel any more hollow pressures.'

'Good. How's Inoue-san?'

Uryu's eyes traveled to the girl, who sat at the bottom of a near by stairs, hugging herself with her arms. Her gaze was lost in the distance, and her expression was empty. The boys slowly walked up to her.

'Orihime...' Uryu tried gently.

Without looking at them, she answered.

'I'm sorry, Uryu. I guess I wasn't paying enough attention.'

A muscle seemed to tense in Uryu's jaw.

'Don't worry about it. It could happen to anyone... and I was here to protect you.'

Orihime's expression suddenly changed. She withdrew her gaze, and flashed her eyes at Uryu, uncharacteristic anger flaming in her orbs. She stood up, and went a step closer.

'I don't want you to protect me!' she cried.

But then the anger dimmed, and the emptiness returned. She turned away.

Uryu looked hurt. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it back again, waring with himself. Chad put a hand on his shoulder, warningly. The sound of running footsteps made them look up, and they saw Tatsuki arrive. She looked relieved, when she spotted the trio.

'The fight's over, huh? It must have been nasty... I felt it.'

'It was.' Chad answered simply.

Tatsuki eyed the way Orihime's back was turned in their direction suspiciously, and threw a questioning glance to Uryu. He only shook his head.

'Well then... I don't think I'll go back to work now. Only a few minutes left before my shift officially ends anyway. They will do without me. How about we all go and have a coffee together? My treat!' she said grinning.

Uryu smiled at her.

'That would be nice.'

Orihime turned. There was a smile on her face, but it was hesitant, as if even she herself wouldn't believe it.

'Er... you are very kind Tatsuki-chan! But I don't think I'll come today... I have... stuff to do... Important stuff... like... housecleaning! Yeah! There are little dust-monsters all over my place, completely taking charge! They'll grow on my head, and turn me into a sandman if I don't do something quick... so you see... it's really an emergency. But you just go ahead! It's better if I go home...' The middle of her speech was almost as lively and blabbering as her usual self, but the end of it drowned into melancholy. 'See you later guys... and Uryu... I'm sorry!' she added, and was already running away.

'Orihime! Wait!' Uryu cried, taken aback. He muffled a curse, and ran after the girl. 'I'm walking you home!'

Tatsuki and Chad looked after the pair sadly.

'He should give her more time...' Tatsuki sighed heavily. 'She's still not over it yet.'

Chad only grunted in acknowledgment.

…...

Uryu walked Orihime home, neither of them speaking throughout the journey. But when they reached the girl's apartment, she invited him in nonetheless. She made them tea, and they settled down to her low table. Uryu was fidgety, pushing his glasses up again and again. Finally, he couldn't take the tension any more, and decided to speak his mind.

'Orihime... I'm sorry, but I feel I have to be rough with you now. I've been watching you close lately... and there are things I don't like. You are far too reckless on the battlefield. And when you're in the middle of things... let's just say this was not the first time you failed to react properly to danger.' he sighed, then continued. 'You've said you don't want me to protect you. Then what do you want? It's almost like... like you had a death-wish...'

He looked at her directly, and held her gaze firmly. Orihime's eyes widened, and she shook her head fearfully.

'I'm glad. Because, you see, I know very well that I can never replace... him. It would be foolish to try. But I won't allow you to get hurt! Not if I can help it!'

Orihime was averting her eyes again. Uncomfortable silence settled between them.

'Uryu...' Orihime finally addressed him, closing her eyes completely. 'I called you in, because I need to say something to you.' A tremor ran through her form, and wetness gathered in the corner of her closed eyes. 'I... I think it's best if we end this now... I don't want to hurt you any more. You asked me out, and I said yes, but it was a mistake. A selfish mistake. I'm sorry... so very sorry! In truth, I'm just not ready for a relationship... yet.'

She knew she needed to look up, no matter how hard it was. It was Uryu, who averted his eyes now.

'I understand...' he said quietly.

…...

_'Being alone is scary... Being alone is painful..._

_I had my Onii-chan. He protected me, and I lost him._

_I had my Ichigo. He protected me, and I lost him._

_My life is precious to me, because of all those sacrifices they made for me. I want to use this life for good. I will repay my debt by living it for others now... not for myself. _

_Being alone is scary... Being alone is painful... But I'd rather be alone, than lose somebody else.'_

…_..._

Death-wish or not, danger just found her...

'Santen Kess...' she cried, but she was a moment late. Her voice drowned into a scream. Luckily, she was able to jump to the side by instinct, so the blow only scratched her. But she lost her balance, and fell down to the ground. The hollow took advantage of her situation instantly: it's clawed hands closed around her throat.

She choked heavily, struggling vainly in the suffocating hold. Her vision was starting to darken, and she had no real strength to fight. She knew no-one would come to rescue her now... She was all alone, and her friends too far. This was the end. As soon as she thought this, her body became limp with surrender. She closed her eyes, so she wouldn't see the monster's masked head closing in on her, it's mouth opening wide...

A wisp of wind. A sudden rush of power. She felt it close. Swirling spiritual pressure surrounded her, a pressure so fierce, that it burned her skin. The next moment, the strangling fingers released her neck, and she could breath again. Her whole body was shaking. She opened her eyes, and saw the hollow vanish, turning into smoke, it's final roar echoing in her ears.

She realized then, that she should have fallen back to the ground, because her legs surely wouldn't support her in her current state. But two strong hands were holding her up firmly. The form of these hands looked human, but the skin on them was a pail, unhealthy white...

She was slowly turned to face her savior, and she saw a pair of intense orange eyes bore into hers. These eyes widened slightly, with evident surprise.

'You?' the man choked. 'No... this can't be!'

Orihime only screamed.

…...

_A/N: Please review, I want to know whether this story will be worthy of your attention!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Warning: This story is rated "M". Expect a violent, confused (H)Ichigo, and mature themes.(Though I have difficulty making him as violent as this story would actually require... I love him too damn much for that :-))_

…...

_Chapter 3_

Uryu and Chad arrived to the scene a few seconds later. They saw a man, who had Orihime's limp body thrown over his shoulder. He must have felt their arrival, because he turned to face them, with a mildly curious expression.

The quincy and the giant froze. Their mouth parted to form identical expressions of disbelief. Neither of them could speak. They seemed to be completely paralyzed, their eyes bulging, as they studied the features of the man before them.

He was tall, lean, dressed in white. His kimono parted at the front just enough to let the huge, black hole breaking the whiteness of his skin in the middle of his chest show. The features of his face were familiar. Too familiar. As was the fiery orange hair: the same color it had always been. Maybe even more intense, now being mirrored in the eyes too. It was spiky at the top, but long locks reached down on his back. On the top of his head, he wore a broken part of a hollow mask striped with deep red... But what left no doubt about his identity was the sword in his hand. It was impossible to mistake the form of it. Cleaver-like without a hilt or a guard.

'And who you two might be?' the man inquired, clearly loosing patience with them doing nothing, but staring.

'Kurosaki!' Uryu finally choked out.

The man's eyes narrowed, and his mouth was pulled into a mild frown, one that was really close to a scowl.

'No. It's Shirosaki. Shirosaki Ichigo. And just who you might be, Archer?'

Uryu's eyes widened even more.

'You mean you don't recognize...' he started, but then he collected himself. 'Ah. I see. Of course you don't. My mistake. For a moment I almost confused you with someone.' He lifted the hand holding his shining blue bow, and he gripped it tightly, doing a quick mental analysis of the situation. He could feel Orihime's spiritual pressure fine, that must mean she was only knocked out. But she was in danger! He must keep his cool, and act... 'As for who I am... for the time being, all you have to know about me is that I am a Quincy. Please release her. I'll be your opponent.'

A malicious laugh rose from Ichigo's lips.

'So serious! What's the problem, Quincy? Is this YOUR girl I'm holding?' he asked, giving the girl's skywards backside a little spat.

Uryu's face darkened, and a muscle tensed at his jaw with anger.

'Just release her...'

'No! I don't think I will!' Ichigo grinned even more.

'Sado! Watch out!' Uryu cried, as Ichigo disappeared form before their eyes using sonido.

Uryu was right at his heel.

'Out of my way, Quincy!' Ichigo barked.

'You're not going anywhere!' Uryu answered, raising his bow again.

Ichigo only laughed.

'Not a good idea... or do you want to risk hitting her? Besides... you look like a sensible guy. You must know that an arrow of THAT level could do nothing against me.'

Uryu gritted his teeth.

'Let's try it, shall we?'

'Some other time, maybe.'

'Sado! Don't let him get away!' Uryu cried.

Chad finally came out of his stupor, and began to move. But it was no use. Neither of them could keep track of the fast sonidos Ichigo began to move with. Orihime's weight did nothing to slow him. He even seemed to be enjoying the tag, two trying to catch one. Finally he stopped on top of a nearby building, looking down on the desperate friends, laughing cruelly.

'It was nice meeting ya!'

He reached out confidently with his free hand (the other holding Orihime firmly in place), and opened up a garganta, stepping inside the black gate...

…...

'How? How is it even possible?' Uryu cried, beside himself. 'Explain, Urahara!'

They were sitting inside the Urahara shop. Chad was still visibly in shock, looking ahead of himself, with round, almost terrified eyes. The shopkeeper pulled the brim of his striped hat even lower into his face.

'I know no more of this than you yourself, Ishida-san... but I do have theories, of course.'

Uryu 'tsk'-ed impatiently.

'How much do you know about the evolution of hollows?' Urahara asked.

'Evolution?'

'Yes. Well, maybe I should start at the beginning to make everything clear. When a spirit turns hollow, his heart vanishes, and a hollow mask takes it's place. But even if the heart is lost, the hollow retains some of the human spirit's personality – hence the different form of the individual hollows. The hollow can also bring some memories of his past life with him. I'm sure you can drag up some examples to illustrate that... For one thing: they tend to hunt down those they loved before.

Hollows eat other souls, human, and their own kindred alike. Higher level hollows are born when lot's of spirits merge together. But in the process, they lose their personality, and presumably also their memories: they become Menos. Adjuchas come to be, when one spirit becomes dominant of the fold, and rules. In vasto lordes, that personality becomes human-like again, with removing part of his or hers hollow mask. But I guess you already knew that...

Now comes the interesting part! When a hollow eats an other soul, that soul becomes a part of it's power... and it is possible, that if that spirit was actually stronger than the hollow, then it may change the personality of that hollow to his favor... We had no proof until now, that this could actually happen. A bunch of high skilled scientists study the matter under dear Mayuri Kurotsusi's command... hehehe... he'll be pissed we found evidence before him!... Khm... sorry. I know this is irrelevant... So! Since Kurosaki-san's spirit have always been exceptionally strong, it's no wonder, that he was able to overcome the hollow that took him with time. That must mean that he is a full arrancar now, with possibly no memories of his former life... Although... him taking Inoue-san... it makes me wonder...'

'Wonder as much as you like... after you have opened up the garganta!' Uryu said fiercely. 'If there is the smallest chance that she is still alive... we must bring her back!' He looked at Chad. 'Are you with me, Sado?'

Chad's fist balled up tightly. There was still pain in his eyes, but he raised them to Uryu.

'Ah... of course!'

'Sado-san!' Urahara addressed him. 'I wonder if you understand: it's not the Ichigo you knew we're talking about. He may look like him, he may act like him in some things, but the essence isn't there. Not any more...'

'And he can never go back to what he once were!' Uryu said. 'Remember: we wowed to destroy the hollow responsible for his death! Now we found it!'

…...

Orihime opened her eyes, blinking a few times.

'Ouwiii...' she whined, feeling her aching head.

She was lying on some soft surface, inside a dark room. She pushed herself up with difficulty: her arms were wooly. She raised her head... and realized she was not alone.

She knew who the man standing opposite her, leaning to the wall, and fixing her with that disturbing orange stair was, she just couldn't believe it...

'Ah. You're awake at last!' he greeted.

'I...iiichigo?' she breathed. It had been so long since she last took that name in her mouth, that it felt quite foreign.

There was no warning. The next moment, he was on her, turning her, and pinning her down to the bed, his face only inches away from hers. She squeaked, alarmed.

'Good. You know me... I hoped it would be like this.' he said, studying her features. 'Are ya scared?'

Orihime pondered the question. She didn't really know what the right answer was... She mostly felt confused, the other emotions still needed to catch up with her.

'Speak up! I want to hear your voice!' he commanded.

'I... I guess I am... a little.' she admitted.

He closed his eyes briefly, before looking down on her again.

'Yes. It is you... I'm glad I found you...' he murmured.

Then he just swooped down, and plastered his mouth onto hers.

Orihime's mind went blank. Those lips worked on her forcefully, stealing her breath. But even though the kiss was more forceful than what she ever got before, there was still something in it, that she recognized. Body ignoring the shut down mind, she find herself responding involuntarily, and opening up. As soon she did that, she was lost. Her eyes closed, and she gave herself over to feeling that sweet taste. It was the same as she remembered it... maybe even better. His spiritual pressure swirled around them: it had unmatched overtones, but it was still recognizable.

He drew back slightly. He licked his lips to savor the taste.

'Should this feel familiar?' he asked, looking down on her.

Orihime only had strength for a shaky nod.

He bent down again, this time kissing her neck. She gasped, as he began sucking her sensitive flesh.

'And should this feel familiar too?' he asked, murmuring against her skin.

To her utter embarrassment, she let out a soft moan. He chuckled.

'I guess that's a yes! Now I only need to know your name...'

She opened her mouth, but he cut across her.

'A-a! Don't tell me! I want to figure it out on my own! It feels like it's on the tip of my tongue already...' While he spoke, his hands began to journey, one entangling in her hair, at the back of her neck, and the other traveling down to feel her curves. Orihime felt blood rush to her face heavily.

'It's real unusual for arrancars to dream, you know... yet I dream.' Ichigo said. 'Almost every night. Of you! Can you tell me why that would be?'

She gulped.

'We... we knew each other in your past life...'

'I figured as much...' he grinned.

'Erm... what do you dream about me?' she asked quietly.

He laughed softly.

'You tell me...' his orange eyes held a playful taunting light inside them, and Orihime couldn't help blushing even more. His hand started moving again, going down her front and stopping to boldly grope one of her large breasts. This time, her blush showed mortification which soon turned into alarm as she felt him tearing her blouse open with one casual flick of his hand. She gasped. Now his fingers brushed over bare skin... He gave a throaty sound, that was probably a grunt of approval. His moves suddenly became more rough, a new urgency and fervency readable in them. But this time, Orihime didn't melt into his touch. Her brain hardly had enough time to process the situation, let alone accept it... If she wasn't scared before, she was now.

'Ichigo!' she tried to plead.

'Ahhh! Say my name like that a few more times... It fucking turns me on!' he whispered huskily as an answer. His hand now left her chest, and felt her thighs, pushing up her skirt completely, reaching the side of her panties.

'Please... stop!' she tried again. This was going too fast...

'What's the matter?'

'This... this definitely shouldn't feel familiar...'

He chuckled at her words.

'I see... don't worry! It soon will! I guess that "Kurosaki" must have been a real looser!' he said laughing evilly, with hunger in his eyes.

Orihime didn't know how it happened. There was a yellow light, and suddenly Ichigo was thrown back from her.

'What the hell?' he asked, confused, and angry.

The glowing light of the Santen Kesshun shield separated them, and Orihime crouched behind it, shaking completely, and wondering how she was able to find her strength for rejecting this time. Ichigo's foreign eyes burned, and his teeth barred in an animalistic gesture.

'This was... a huge mistake!' he said, the words coming out of his mouth like a hiss.

She could feel his spiritual pressure spike, and she trembled even more.

Ichigo lifted a hand.

'Did you think you could defy me?' he cried, giving the shield's surface one simple punch. That was all it took for it to break to a thousand pieces... and before Orihime could even blink, he was on her again. Orihime was being strangled for the second time that day. And somehow, it hurt even better this time...

'Well guess again! And here I was... trying to be gentle!' she heard Ichigo spat through the sounds of her own choking. She saw that his eyes held the malicious glint of a predator: deathly, merciless. Her fear boiled over, a familiar desperation taking hold of her. _'What should I do?'_

'Ku... kuro...saki-kuuun!' she choked. She didn't even realize, that in her fear and confusion, she had used the name she had used to call him by before they had became a pair... The reaction was instant, unexpected and violent.

Ichigo's whole body went rigid. Then he jumped away from her, of his own accord this time. Orihime choked, drawing in large breathes. She instinctively backed away from him even more. Tears were gathering in the corners of her eyes. Once she was able to somewhat find her breath, she looked up.

Ichigo's face showed confusion, and as Orihime looked, she could have sworn she saw something flash through his eyes... like a different, more natural, darker color...

'No... No!' he cried, clutching his head, as though he was in pain. 'It's Shiro! Shirosaki!' he screamed at her desperately, anger ruling out confusion again. Then he suddenly turned his back on her, freeing her from the hold of his burning stare. He took a few large breathes. He walked slowly to the door, and put his hand on the handle.

'Just so you know: I've brought you to my own place in Hueco Mundo. Outside this building, there is only desert... You can't escape. I'll be back.' he announced, opening the door. 'Try to get yourself together by then, Hime! Because I won't be so... patient next time!'

The tears rolled down Orihime's cheeks, as sobs began to shake her body. But then something registered... Was that really her name he used? Or was it meant to be some silly title? Did he remember something? But she didn't have time to broad on the subject.

Ichigo stepped out the door.

'Neliel!' he shouted firmly.

Orihime heard footsteps approaching, and a tall woman appeared in the doorway, her long lime-green locks billowing behind her.

'As you may have noticed, we have a guest...' Ichigo informed her. 'Give her everything she needs! Understand?'

'Yes, Ichi!' she replied softly.

Orihime looked up, her crying momentarily halting.

Neliel stepped inside. Her beautiful features looked sad.

'Nel-chan!' Orihime cried, relieved to see a familiar face.

'Hi, Orihime...' she greeted back averting her eyes.

...

_A/N: Please review, and tell me what you think! I really need the feedback! (Apart from telling me whether this story is worth continuing, it makes me soooooooooooo happy!) _


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Hi, and welcome to chapter 4! Thanks for all the reviews so far! Believe it: they really encourage me to work harder and faster!_

_Again: I warn everyone that this story is rated „M" for a reason! But if you're afraid things would get as far as a full rape scene, let me quickly assure you: no. It will get close, but no. Just no. _

_Chapter 4_

'Oh, Nel-chan!' Orihime exclaimed, the tears rolling down her face again. 'I'm so glad to see you!'

Neliel came closer, and sat down to the side of the bed. She raised her eyes, and gave the other woman a half-smile.

'Are you all right?' she asked gently.

Orihime brushed the tears away.

'Yes... I think so...' she answered, bravely fighting for her voice to be level.

'Orihime...' Nel said in a low voice, leaning closer. 'I... I hope you'll believe me when I say, that I didn't betray you! I didn't, I swear!'

Orihime looked confused.

'Betray? What do you mean?'

'I didn't tell him where to find you! It wasn't me! I even lied for you: he told me about his dreams, but I never told him I knew you! I never even told him that you really existed! I didn't reveal your identity! If he ever finds out I kept this from him, I'll be in trouble! And I didn't know he was searching for you... I swear I would have come to warn you, had I known...'

'It's all right Nel-chan! It's not your fault. He wasn't searching for me. He just found me... It was a coincidence!'

'Coincidence...' Nel repeated, looking thoughtful. 'I don't know... Seems like a BIG coincidence...'

Both woman looked down, an uncomfortable silence stretching between them.

'He's been kind of obsessed with you lately, to tell the truth...' Nel finally said.

Orihime looked up despite herself, and couldn't help some warming emotions surge through her heart.

'Really?'

After all it was flattering that out of everything and everyone, it was her memory that he seemed to somehow have brought with him to his after life. She couldn't help wondering whether this was a proof of the strength of his former affections. But then she scolded herself: she mustn't think like this! He had made it clear: he was not Kurosaki Ichigo... not her Ichigo. Not any more. He was a hollow. And hollows didn't have a heart...

'Hey... I should probably give you something to wear...' Nel said suddenly, pointing to Orihime's ruined shirt, who blushed. 'And maybe something to eat? Come on! Let's go to my room! It will be more comfy there!'

Orihime froze.

'Can I?'

'Of course! Screw Ichi if he wants to keep his GUEST locked up! He still doesn't know how to treat a lady fine! Come! I'll show you around!'

…...

Neliel served her a late dinner, and she ate quietly, not really having an appetite, but forcing down bite after bite. They were inside her room, which was certainly brighter and more welcoming than the one in which she had waken up. There were pictures on the walls, clearly the occupant's own designs. There were more furniture: chairs, a little table, and a chest of drawers, with a mirror above it. Orihime only chanced one hesitant peek inside it, to check on the lime-green shirt Neliel had given her. It fitted her nicely. The problem was her own face. It was unhealthily white, with purple circles around her eyes. Also, there were forming bruises all around her neck, reminders of the violence she just suffered... She would heal them later, but right now, she kept them purposefully: she needed the evidence to keep her resolve... To be able to see clearly.

While she ate, Nel started telling her how she met Ichigo, and Orihime listened to her bittersweet story with constantly varying feelings.

'… I was sacred, because Peche and Dondochakka weren't around. They found a nice sandpit as a playground and were in the middle of a sandcastle building contest! So they never noticed that I was in trouble. I really though I was done for... But Ichi found me. He said to the monster: _"Hey! Pick somebody your own size, Ugly!" _Then he attacked, and teared that brute to pieces! I recognized him of course, and ran to him joyfully, but he just threw me of off him like: _"What's the idea, Midget! Don't get under my feel, or I might just step on you! __I didn't do it to save you, I just felt like it!__"_

It took a while until I realized he didn't remember me at all... I was sad... but even then, I wanted to stay with him. So I did. He was rough at first, trying to chase me away. But he got used to me with time, and later to Peche and Dondochakka too, and we became a family! Then Gil joined us, and Vasco, I guess you'll meet them later... and we built this home together!

I was so happy with things! But Ichi... he wasn't. He always seemed to be missing something... When I realized this, it pained me too... I tried everything to cheer him up, but it was no use. It must have been around that time, that I abandoned my child form, and grown up again. I must have felt it was not a child he needed beside him, and answered that need unconsciously. Only... he didn't want me this way either... I didn't understand. I mean: I'm not that hideous, am I? And I though that we really suit each other...

Then he told me about his dreams. His dreams of you. I... I got to admit, I was jealous... I'm sorry... I know you must have loved him dearly, that much I could gather even as a child as I watched you watching him fight Grimmjaw... But let's face it: the way you two are now, there's no chance this could work. A human and a hollow... You'd only bring out the worst in the other... That's why I'm so sad he was able to find you after all.

I only want him to be happy... And I... I'm telling you all this, because I still feel... I'm certain, that I could make him happy, if only he would let me... If only he could forget you...'

Pity squeezed Orihime's heart.

'Oh, Nel-chan...'

Nel startled, because Orihime suddenly sprang to her feet, and jumped to embrace her neck with a fierce hug.

'Thank you! Thank you for loving him so much!' she whispered.

Neliel hugged her back.

They would have stayed like that for who knows how long, but the tender moment was broken by a knock on the door.

'Ready or not, here we come!' a voice sang, and Orihime drew back, squeaking in alarm.

'Oh, Peche, you startled her!' Neliel scolded the hollow who just struck his head inside.

'Aren't we playing hide and seek? Come on, we're board!' Peche complained in a whining voice.

'Yeah! Doesn't Nel want to play with us?' Dondochakka asked, coming in too. 'She never wants to play any more! She leaves us all alone!' the large headed hollow started crying, waterfalls of tears rolling down from the eye-holes on his mask.

Nel smiled sadly.

'I'm sorry!' she looked at Orihime, sighing. 'Growing up is never easy...'

…...

Ichigo was standing alone in the darkness, under the constantly night sky of Hueco Mundo. He choose a large boulder to study the never changing, colorless, depressing scene from. Ever since he had waken up here, he could somehow remember blue sky... Though it was strange, that the clouds on that sky always moved vertically, and he couldn't remember any sun, but that blue, cloudy sky had somehow always felt more welcome to him than what he had to live with.

This had always disturbed him. And he wished he wouldn't remember at all...

Now he could remember more even more. More with every minute... His brain provided the information bit by bit, the lot not yet wanting to fit together. A face, a name, a place. Meaningless bits without a clear string to tread them on. But he could feel it coming. Patience was not his best virtue, but he would just have to deal with it. The result would change his life... whether it would be for the better of for the worse...

'My Lord!'

Ichigo spun around, startled, but relaxed a moment later, as he recognized the familiar spiritual pressure of the man drawing near him. He scowled.

'Ah, bullshit! Cut with the crap already! How many times must I tell you, Gil: don't "LORD" me!'

The sandy haired, electric blue eyed arrancar looked as innocent and cute like a little boy. But Ichigo knew his strength: he was a very capable fighter when needed. His zanpakuto was at his side, a unique, lightning shaped blade.

'I'm sorry, sir!' Gil said, looking at him seriously.

Ichigo shook his head.

'Ichigo.'

'Ichigo, sir!'

'You're hopeless... fucking irritating, the whole bunch of you!'

The sandy haired arrancar blushed.

'What was it that you wanted to say, Gil?'

'Oh, yes! We have information, that Cayo have returned from the human world too. We're waiting your orders!'

Ichigo made an inpatient sound.

'Couldn't care less at the moment!'

'But... but...! You were so impatient to follow him! I though... I don't understand!'

'Look, I already told you!' Ichigo spat. 'Cayo and I have an issue! If I have an opportunity to get at him, I certainly will! He's so big headed, parading along as "King of all hollows", I just can't stand that! But that doesn't mean I have any intention to take his place! I'm not interested in it! Can you grasp that? That's your dream with Vasco, not mine!' he fumed.

Gil remained silent for a while, hanging his head.

'You would be a much better leader...' he finally said.

'Sorry! I want to be my own master... not everybody else's!' Ichigo answered impassively.

'I guess the true reason you don't act now, because at the moment you're more interested in being the master of that little bitch you hide down there!' said a new, sharp voice. A long black haired arrancar joined their group. He was tall, and in contrast with the other two, who were somewhat normally dressed, he only wore white hakamas, and nothing on the upper part of his body, except a necklace of fangs.

Ichigo narrowed his eyes.

'None of your business, Vasco!'

'Can't blame you... she's a freaking' hot chick to be sure! Though why would you need a human like her, when you already have Neliel is beside me, but hey! No offense! To each his own!'

Ichigo barred his teeth.

'Fuck off! You know there is nothing between Neliel and me! There never was to begin with!'

Gil looked up, his eyes shining with a strange light. But Vasco only laughed.

'Yeah! Tell that to someone who would actually believe it! I see how she looks at you! Or do you mean to tell me, you wouldn't even be pissed if I just took the little centauress and played some riding with her?'

Ichigo snarled, and grabbed the hilt of his sword. Vasco grinned evilly, and did the same.

'No! You mustn't fight again!' Gil tried to intervene desperately.

But the two arrancars were already surrounded by swirling spiritual pressure.

'All right then...' Gil sighed, defeated. 'At least move this somewhere else, please! Remember last time? It took a week until we somewhat restored the house!'

'Don't worry, Gil!' Ichigo called, now grinning himself. 'You know this Rascal just can't go any length of time without me kicking his ass!'

'Now that's more like it, Sucker!' Vasco returned the insult easily. 'I was starting to think there was something wrong with you... with that pansy-ass, human-like expression on your face!'

…...

Orihime lay awake inside the dark room. She knew she needed the sleep, after all the emotional exhaustion of the day, but she just couldn't. She felt numb inside. She supposed she should feel a lot of emotions: sadness, loss, fear. She would even understand feeling some positive emotions to some extent. After all for one whole year she kept secretly longing for some connection, any kind of connection with him, who had so long been the meaning of her life.

Well... now she had it...

She supposed she must still be in shock. That would answer why she felt so empty, only knowing how she felt, not actually feeling it. Everything seemed just like a bad dream to her, and even though she knew better, she embraced the excuse to postpone accepting reality...

As she lay there, she suddenly froze. There was no sound, not even a coming breeze to warn her, as the door opened. Yet she could tell he had come... The force of his spiritual pressure on her was enough to steal her breath. But she didn't move, or make a sound. She only closed her eyes.

_'This is not happening! There's no way this could be real...'_

…...

She was there on the bed, right where he last left her. And she was all his. He would MAKE her his. Her long auburn locks of hair were spread all over the pillow, framing her perfect features, her face being as white as the sheets. She would have seemed like a marble statue, as she lay there completely still, but she also seemed small and utterly fragile...

And fucking beautiful...

Mouthwateringly desirable...

He could no longer bear being away from her, so he just climbed over her, and started kissing as he pleased, marking a route down from her forehead to her jawline, and past it, into the crook of her neck. His tongue tried the taste of her skin experimentally, where it was the most delicate, and found that it was just as maddeningly good as he remembered it...

He felt the urgent need to kiss her properly on the lips, to be able to get even more. He raised his head, but stopped, when he noticed her closed eyes.

'Look at me!' he ordered. 'I know you are awake, so look at me!'

She did. Her eyelids fluttered open, revealing the deep gray pools of her eyes. Ichigo looked in them, searching. He scowled. There was something wrong with her eyes...

But it didn't matter: he just kissed her anyway. Her lips parted yieldingly enough under his own, letting him invade, but there was no response, no resistance, nothing at all... It was like kissing a rag-doll.

He didn't know why, but he felt anger, and it made him kiss even fiercer. But it made no difference, she remained just as impassive as before.

'Hey... What's wrong?' he asked, trying some forced gentleness, just to see the reaction.

There was none. She remained silent, still with that emptiness in her eyes.

'Fine! Don't answer... Like I care...'

He reached behind his back, and with one forceful thug, he pulled the upper half of his robe free from his belt, and pulling it over his head, he tossed it away to the ground. Then he bent down, kissing again, and attacking with his hands at the same time, trying to undress the girl too. He either wanted to see lust, or fear... Either was fine with him... Either had it's charm... But no reaction at all, that confused him. And made him angry.

He continued to work on her, touching and kissing, trying everything he could think of, being more and more rough. He desperately wanted to shatter her resolve, because he was sure she was doing this on purpose. And he was not used to being beaten... Not used to being denied what he wanted...

'Damn it!' he cursed.

Even his nail-mark adored her skin now, on her arm. She only whimpered a little at the pain, but didn't show either of the emotions he wanted to see...

He realized this wouldn't work... He just didn't want her like that...

He finally drew back, releasing her altogether, sitting down to the floor next to the bed. His fists balled up in his helpless rage, and he punched the floor, only earning a pain in his knuckles. He looked back at her face: her eyes were still open, looking up at the ceiling above expressionlessly, her breathing even. He bitterly wondered how on earth could she seem more far away now, being there right beside him, than when she only existed in his dreams...

…...

_A/N: Hope that was ok... I don't really know what's IC for Ichigo as he is now, since I'm working with my own concept, and it's neither Ichi, or Hichi, but an arrancar turned Ichigo. _

_I know that Nel is sad, and I hope I'm not straining your patience too much with all the love triangles here... :-)_

_I guessed that since Orihime's power is rejecting, she could be good with mental rejecting too... _

_I'm not that found of creating OCs, and prefer using canon characters where ever I can (Bleach has already too many characters in my opinion...), but I actually think I did all right here, with Gil and Vasco (spanish names by the way). And of course every story needs a villain (Cayo)._

_Please review, and tell me what you think!_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Thanks for all your reviews again! It's so satisfying to see the attention! Let me reply shortly to something that more of you voiced: I can totally understand why you wouldn't want to read a fic where Ichigo dies. I was like that myself, and I would be real wasted if the manga would take a similar direction... But this is kind of like an experiment, a little AU-ish, if you'd like._

…_..._

_Chapter 5_

Isshin stood facing the others with a sour, pained expression. They all looked expectantly at him, but he was still hesitating.

'You don't know what you're asking from me, Kisuke...'

'I'm sorry my friend... It's only for Orihime Inoue's sake. Otherwise I would never...'

'I know.' Isshin sighed. He turned to Uryu, wearing a scowl. 'This must be your last resort! Got that?'

The Quincy nodded solemnly. Isshin reached into his pocket, and withdrew a little container, presenting it reluctantly. Uryu took it from him.

'What's in it?' Tatsuki asked, shivering a little.

'I stored away some of Ichigo's spiritual pressure while he was still human.' Isshin answered. 'Though... I never dreamed, not in my darkest nightmare, that I would use it like this one day...'

'Can it be used as a weapon against him now?'

'Yes.' Urahara answered. 'I designed a special arrow for Ishida-san. Filling it with Ichigo's spiritual pressure, we get a weapon that will be fatal, but only for him. It's not a strong arrow, it won't explode or do anything, but when connecting with his spirit body, it will unleash a chain reaction.'

'Will it kill him?' Tatsuki asked, looking scared despite herself.

'No. Worse. It will completely erase his existence from this world. That's why it's a final resort.'

Silence followed these heavy words. They all looked at each other uncomfortably. Tatsuki was trying to wrap her head around the concept of "erasing somebody's existence completely" with little success. Finally Uryu spoke up.

'Try to understand... If I'm not mistaken, I've already seen once what his most powerful form must be... We'll try everything, but if he releases THAT on us, I really don't know what we can do.'

Tatsuki looked down. Some strong force was squeezing her throat.

'Couldn't Kuchiki-san, or somebody else from Soul Society help?'

'They could. But I doubt it would make any difference.'

'He took Orihime. He took her, not killed her.' Tatsuki stated. 'I'm terribly scared for her of course, and want her back, but... Isn't it possible... isn't there the smallest chance...'

'Even a cat would play with a mouse before eating...' Uryu answered bitterly.

An other, even more darker silence followed.

'Well, time is pressing!' Urahara said. 'Are you ready, Ishida-san? Sado-san?'

'Yes!' Uryu replied firmly.

Chad only grunted his reply, the fist of his left arm balling up.

'Then lets go down to the basement... everything is ready.'

…...

'Hey! Would you look at that! Here comes lover boy! Did you have a pleasant... sleep?'

Ichigo sent the taunting Vasco a dark look, that would have intimidated anyone of a less sturdy character.

'Shut your mouth!'

He walked to the table, and took the mug Neliel was offering him, still scowling heavily.

'Erm... Ichi?' she tried to ask him something.

'Hmm?' he grunted to show he was listening, while he took his seat.

'Did you... cut your hair?'

Everyone's eyes bulged. Even Ichigo's. He quickly turned back, looking a bit comical as he studied the long locks at his back. While yesterday he was quite sure they reached past his shoulder-blades, now they only hang to his shoulders.

'What the?' he choked.

'You nasty little perv! What kind of games do you enjoy that involves playing hairdresser? Or was it the girl's request?' Vasco laughed heartily.

But the sounds died on his lips, because they could all hear approaching footsteps draw near, belonging to small feet. The steps stopped hesitantly before the door, and they could almost hear her taking a huge breath, before she entered...

'Erm... good morning.'

Ichigo growled inwardly: of course she would talk now!

Gil raised from his seat instantly.

'Hi! Please, join us for breakfast. I'm Gil. Pleased to meet you!'

'I'm...' Orihime tried to introduce herself, but Ichigo beat her to it.

'She's Orihime Inoue.'

Her eyes shifted in his direction involuntarily, almost meeting, but she thought better about it in time. She only paled somewhat.

'Vasco's the name, Darling!' the other arrancar said, reaching out to take her hand despite her not offering it, which earned a warning hiss from Ichigo. 'I must say I was beginning to be most curious about you!' he winked at the girl.

'All right... let her sit down now!' Neliel sighed. She had a feeling that if Vasco continued promoting his new relationship, then her breakfast table would be ruined by the two jumpy males of the household fighting again. She went to Orihime, and took her hand herself, and led her to sit opposite Ichigo. She regretted this later, because all of them noticed how he was simply burning and piercing the poor girl with his unwavering stair all throughout the meal. But she just ate quietly, her gaze wondering everywhere in the room but at him.

Suddenly, Peche ran in, screaming, his two arms swinging like a windmill.

'Sirs! Most gracious Sirs! I came to tell you immediately! Our sensors detect the opening of a garganta, with human spiritual pressures coming through! I repeat: humans are invading Hueco Mundo!'

_Crash!_

There was a sound of breaking china. Orihime had dropped her mug. All looked at her. She trembled, and her gray eyes finally found Ichigo's orange ones, who noticed the clear signs of terror in her features satisfied. Finally! Emotions! He grinned. He closed his eyes briefly, but only to feel out and study the spiritual pressure waves.

'Ah... that's right. They've come. The irritating Quincy, and the giant of a man. I'm sure of it.' Then he looked back at Orihime. 'What were their names, I wonder...? I know somehow that I should know it, but when ever I try to remember the Quincy's name, I just get fucking angry for some reason!'

Orihime swallowed, but she didn't think there was anything in telling him. Maybe it would even help... Or not. But it wouldn't make the situation any worse that it already was.

'Uryu Ishida.' she whispered with cast down eyes.

'That's right!' Ichigo said, his eyes glinting contently. 'And the other's?'

'Sado-kun. Yasutora Sado.'

Ichigo frowned.

'No. That doesn't feel familiar...' He closed his eyes again, covering them with his palms too this time, trying to concentrate. 'Ah!' he grunted in frustration. If he continued this, he would end up giving himself a headache, on top of his already strained morning. 'So damn difficult to remember! But I'm pretty sure it was something like... Chad?'

Orihime now had a very strange expression on her face.

'You... you do remember!' she said, finally letting Ichigo hold her gaze. 'That's what you used to call him...' There was something new in her look now, different from the resignation or the fear. It felt foreign to Ichigo, but still pleasant.

Vasco looked between the pair a few times, then shook his head.

'Pretty freaking out stuff... I know I wouldn't want to remember anything from MY human life! Not that there's any chance of me remembering: I've been like this for decades now, with not even a slight deja-vu ever.'

'I'm curious too!' Gil said. 'I've never heard of such a thing happening before. Not with arrancars... Maybe it's because of your strength.'

'Or maybe it's some kind of special power you never knew you possessed.' Nel speculated.

'No. I'm pretty sure it's because of her! She must be the key to this.' Vasco pointed to Orihime. 'And I must say that I don't like it! It's just not natural! All these memories will fuck with your mind, and ruin you if you're not careful!'

They all looked expectantly at Ichigo, but he didn't react at all to their theories.

'Hey, Ichigo! Are you listening?' Vasco cried.

Ichigo stood up unexpectedly. He put down his mug, and headed for the door.

'HEY! Where are you going?'

'Well, since it's me the visitors are searching for, I guess I'll just go and greet them.'

Orihime jumped up.

'NO!' she cried, alarmed.

'Should we come too?' Gil asked. 'At least one of us could...'

'No. That won't be necessary.' Ichigo said confidently. 'I'll just deal with them on my own.'

'NO!' Orihime cried again.

Ichigo didn't turn back, only stopped in the doorway. A soft chuckle left his lips.

'Don't worry. I'll be back real quick. This won't last long. Neliel, I'm leaving her to your care...'

Orihime seemed frozen to her place, but after Ichigo disappeared through the door, she quickly pulled herself together.

'Wait!' she cried, and ran after him, leaving the others behind.

She caught up with him on the little terrace, in front of the building. As she stepped out under the grey sky, the chill of the air bit her skin, making her shiver even more than she already did. She stopped for a second, to fight back the tears, that were threatening to burst out even more, knowing how she would have to address him.

'Ichigo!'

He turned to face her, raising an eyebrow questioningly.

'Please... you mustn't do this... You mustn't fight them!'

He looked amused.

'Why not? They came to fight me, I'm only giving them what they want!'

'You used to be friends. Great friends.'

'That's charming. But not enough reason to make me stay.'

Orihime bit her lip.

'I... I'm not worth fighting over...' she said in a weak voice.

Ichigo scowled.

'They clearly have a different opinion about that... And me too, for that matter. I found you, and you belong to me now... You just better accept that! Whether you want it or not. I don't understand why, but I need you. I'm not giving you up! Not even close! And I'd fight anybody wanting to take you away... even irritating Quincies! So you better present some decent counter-argument, if you don't want me fighting them!'

Orihime looked down to hide her emotions. She didn't want him to see either the emotions caused by him threatening her friends, or by him saying he needed her...

'You mustn't fight them, because I... I couldn't bare it.' she finally admitted quietly.

Ichigo reached under her chin, and tilted her head upwards, forcing her to look in his eyes.

'I know why... Because you are concerned about them. Is that right?' he asked, with some edge to his voice.

'Yes. But that's not all...'

'What else is there?'

'I couldn't bare the thought of YOU hurting them...'

He looked like he was pondering her words.

'What would you be willing to give me in exchange, if I promised not to kill them?'

Orihime gasped. She could hear her own heartbeat flutter wildly in her chest. She half hoped he was only kidding, but saw in his eyes that he wasn't. She swallowed thickly.

'Anything... Everything...' she whispered finally.

Ichigo took a long breath, and released it contently.

'You better have a clear idea of what that "everything" might be...'

She only nodded, as far as she could in his grasp, while red patches of mortification crept to her cheeks.

Ichigo leaned in, and kissed her. To her surprise, it was brief, and unexpectedly tender...

'It's a deal then...' he whispered in her ear, before stepping away, and the next moment he disappeared.

…...

Lord Cayo looked at the report in his hands with an amused expression.

'Ah... these humans are so predictable! Always liked this about them!'

'Your orders, Sir?' the messenger bowing before him on the ground asked.

'Tell Blas to attack the girl with his men... That ought to do the trick. But tell them to make sure not to kill her.'

'And the two males who had just arrived?'

'They are disposable.'

'Understood!' the messenger said, wanting to retreat to deliver the orders.

'Wait!' Cayo halted him.

'Yes, my Lord?'

'I need to make an other journey... Hiroto can replace me while I'm away. Get the Senkaimon ready!'

'Yes sir!'

After Cayo remained alone in his throne-room, he walked slowly to the window and looked out. The window panels reflected his hard features: keen yellow eyes, sitting deep in their sockets, a sticking out chin, and black hair. He gave off a slightly hawk-like impression, which was intensified by the remaining part of his broken hollow mask, which consisted of his nasal bone, turned to a beak-like form. A small smile played at the corner of his lips.

'I guess you'll be happy with my news, Master! Everything is going as you planned. It won't be long now... And I'd be rid of Shirosaki Ichigo for good...'

…...

'Orihime! Please! Don't do this to me!'

'I'm sorry, Nel-chan! I can't just sit here... I've got to do something!'

'It's dangerous for you to leave the protection of this house! I wonder if you realize this, but you smell as sweet to ordinary hollows, as honey to bees! Ichi... he'll tear me to pieces if I let anything happen to you!'

But what ever she said, Orihime looked defiant. She had made her decision. Neliel knew she could probably hold her back: she was stronger in terms of power. But the truth was that she wanted to go too. She too was concerned about the fight, especially concerning Ichigo. And she realized that if they went now, there was a chance for Orihime to be able to reach the human world with one of her friends, and hide there, no matter how faint it was... She knew Ichigo would be terribly angry with her afterwords, and would probably hurt her badly, but thinking it over, she found she could bare with that. For she was certain that Vasco had been right about all this painful remembering and being linked to the past would do no good to Ichi in the end... So she thought she was protecting him in the long run...

'All right then... but I'm coming with you! I'll make Peche and Dondochakka occupy Gil and Vasco... Just give me a minute...'

She ran out of the room, but was stopped by somebody standing right behind the door-frame. Two strong arms held her, one over her mouth to stop her shout.

'Shh!' Gil warned her, then let her mouth free.

'Gil! You've scared me!' she whispered. 'How much have you heard...?'

'Everything.' he whispered back. 'You're making a big mistake...'

'Let me go!'

'You know I can't protect you.'

'I never asked you to.'

Gil's hands finally released her. She started going again, but turned back at the corner.

'You won't tell Vasco, will you?'

'No, I won't.' he answered through gritted teeth.

…...

_A/N: As you now see: Cayo is not the final villain! Any guesses where this is leading? Surprise me with your brilliance! _

_The scene between Ori and Ichi in this chapter surprised me: I wasn't planning that beforehand, it just typed itself out of my fingers. Honestly that's how it was! But I like it. _

_About Nel: she is totally jealous of course, and that adds to her desire of wanting Orihime away, even if she reasons to herself differently. But what I like about how I made it is, that she is jealous without being nasty: she also wants Orihime safe, she doesn't want her to get hurt. _

_And who can guess about Ichigo's hair?_

_Please review!_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: I guess I'm freaking you out with this story a little... I'm sorry about that, I hope you'll be more content after this chapter, and continue reading. Things are slowly taking a favorable turn. (nypsy: I know you like Uryu very much, so please read until the end of this chapter before you decide judgment on how I wrote him... And I don't see the ending of this story completely clear yet – this only fuels me to write more, because I'm curious – but I certainly won't take Ichigo away from Orihime completely.)_

Chapter 6

Neliel scanned the sand-dunes with narrowed eyes.

'That way!' she pointed.

'But Nel-chan! I can feel strong hollow pressures that way!'

'It can't be helped! They will be drawn by your presence, no matter which direction we choose! Hurry! Our only chance is to outrun them, if we don't want to waist time fighting...'

'Right!' Orihime answered, collecting herself.

The two of them started running. Orihime tried to use the time to get her disarrayed thoughts back under control. She didn't know what she could achieve, but her heart urged her forward all the same. After a few minutes, Neliel stopped again.

'What is it?' she asked her.

Nel's scarred face paled.

'These are no ordinary hollow pressures I'm feeling...'

…...

Ichigo laughed, as a deathly blast of Brazo Derecha de Gigante missed him by inches.

'Wow! That was scary!'

'I'm not done yet!' Chad cried. 'El Directo!'

Ichigo lifted his sword high above his head, then brought it down again.

'Getsuga Tenso!'

The two energy beams met, the explosion shaking the ground under them. When the dust cleared, Chad was on the ground, choking, while Ichigo stood above him, looking down coolly. He narrowed his eyes, as he saw movement with his peripheral vision. The ferocity of Uryu's new attack forced him to leap away with a series of sonidos. Chad also managed to get up, and Ichigo was soon caught between arrows and energy blasts. In order to avoid the latter, he neared the Quincy, and attacked him. Uryu could dodge the first blow fine, but was too slow on the second. He got a nice cut on his bow holding arm.

Chad rushed in quickly, to claim Ichigo's attention again. He held Zangetsu's blade off with his armored left arm.

'Why? Why are you doing this? Why did you take Inoue?' he asked bitterly.

Ichigo scowled.

'Just because I want her.'

'Don't you remember anything? Anything at all? Don't you remember me?'

'Only flashes... I know we used to be friends.'

'Doesn't that count for anything? Ichigo!'

'I spared your lives back in the human world. Yet you came after me! What did you expect? Handshakes and a welcome party?'

Chad stepped back, sweat-drops pouring down his brows.

'You are like him, yet you aren't.'

Meanwhile Uryu pulled a seele schneider from his belt, and filling it with spiritual pressure he put it to the string. He aimed and fired. The blue energy filled blade soared through the air.

'Yes!' Uryu cried, thinking he got Ichigo this time. But then his eyes bulged. The arrancar just caught the blade with his bare hand! 'That much power...!'

Ichigo looked at the light-blade he was holding, then just threw it away. He sighed, shaking his head.

'I so didn't want to do this... You see, I have significantly less control over myself in my released form. But you're leaving me no choice... attacking two on one...'

'Curse you!' Uryu fumed, taking off his mantle, and trying to wrap it tightly around his wound to stop the bleeding. He could have done that better by concentrating his spiritual pressure, but he wanted to force every last bit of it into his attacks.

Ichigo gripped Zangetsu's handle with both hands, holding it before himself, just like he used to do before going bankai. His mouth opened to form the familiar name. But suddenly he stopped, the confident smirk disappearing from his face. Uryu and Chad froze likewise. They all felt the message brought to them by the spiritual pressure waves...

'Orihime!' Ichigo choked. Without even one word, he turned his back on the other two, and dashed away.

'Ishida!' Chad cried.

'Yeah! I know! I know!... I feel it too. Let's follow!'

…...

Nel and Orihime were standing back to back, the Santen Kesshun shield covering them from one side, and Nel's zanpakuto "Gamuza" held ready at the other. At least five blood-thirsty looking arrancars circled them, trying to find an opening in their combined protections, while even more of them watched from the sidelines... One fired a cero, but Nel swallowed it easily, returning it doubled.

'Koten Zanshun!' Orihime cried, and she managed to hit one of their attackers, but couldn't ascertain the decree of the damage she made, because the others took his place.

'Concentrate your fire on the greeny!' a man commanded.

Lights of new ceros formed in all direction.

'Orihime... please! Run! I'll hold them off!' Nel ordered strictly.

'No! I'm not leaving you! You're in trouble because of me! I'll fight!'

'You don't have hierro like me... you'll be burned alive! And I can't transform, unless you give me some room! I need to release!'

Orihime hesitated. But the moment to decide was already past them. The ceros were unleashed. Nel returned the first, held off the second with her sword, but could do nothing about the third. She only flung herself at Orihime at the last minute, to give her what protection she could by shielding her with her body. Orihime's shield deflected the most of the cero's power, but the reminder was enough to throw both of them off their feet. Orihime cried out in pain, as she felt flames lick her skin.

'Take this as well bitches!' cried an arrancar, the one who received Orihime's earlier attack. He had lost an arm, and was very pissed by the looks of it. He raised his other hand, which transformed to hold a cannon-like attachment, and he fired missiles out of it.

The girls had no strength at the moment for any counter attack. They hardly even noticed the coming danger. But the next moment a shadow fell on them.

'Ichi!' Nel choked at the same moment he took the missiles with his body.

Orihime looked up, her eyes round, full of wonder and pain. Ichigo choked. Redness of blood poured out of his mouth. He brushed it away, and turned to face the attackers with the meanest of glares... They would find no mercy...

Uryu and Chad arrived in time to see the rescue-act.

'Erm... Ishida? Would a cat save a mice from other cats at the risk of his own life?' Chad asked.

Uryu remained silent. He just watched Ichigo tearing the arrancars to pieces. Literally. Suddenly, he noticed, that Chad was no longer next to him.

'Eh? What? Sado! Come back!'

Chad joined the fight, punching out an arrancar behind Ichigo's back. Ichigo turned, and grinned.

'Hey! This feels familiar! Chad!'

Hearing this, Orihime smiled weakly, even though she was still in pain. The first true smile on her lips since arriving here... Maybe even since longer. But her relief was short lived, because Nel started screaming beside her. A large, brute looking arrancar grabbed her, and started hauling her away.

'Neliel!' Ichigo cried desperately.

He rushed after her. All the attackers were now retreating, but one of them stood his ground, facing Ichigo, cutting his way off.

'Disappear!' Ichigo hissed, and fired a Getsuga Tenso at him. But the stranger countered his attack easily.

'Ah. You've got more than the others it seems.' Ichigo noted through gritted teeth.

'Yes he does!' said a voice from behind. Vasco and Gil have arrived to the scene. 'He's Blas, one of Cayo's nasty sidekicks!' Vasco informed him.

'Correct!' the arrancar answered, still concentrating on Ichigo's moves.

'Gil! Vasco! They've taken Neliel! Quick! Go after her!' Ichigo commanded. 'I'm fine here!'

Gil started going instantly, but Vasco hesitated.

'Go!' Ichigo ordered again. 'Really! I've got my back covered here! Or don't you trust me to take care of this scum alone?' he asked, pointing to Blas.

Vasco raised an eyebrow, his eyes wandering to Chad, and the still frozen Uryu suspiciously. Suddenly a yellow shield covered Ichigo's body, who smiled wide.

'An other familiar feeling...'

Vasco looked startled, but he soon felt a soohting little hand on his shoulder.

'Please... I'm healing him. Go and save Nel-chan!' Orihime begged.

Vasco's eyes widened with surprise.

'As you wish...' he answered, bowing a little to her, and he went after Gil.

Orihime came before Ichigo, and they looked at each other, through the Rikka shield.

'Take this back.' Ichigo scowled. 'I'm gonna fight now... Heal yourself instead!'

'I'm fine... Nel-chan protected me. This is nothing...' she said, looking down to the little burned mark on her leg.

'For me it's not!'

Orihime gasped. She had heard this same line before...

'Are you done talking now?' Blas asked. 'I've been waiting for an opportunity to get at him for long...' He grinned at the thought of impressing his master by defeating Shirosaki Ichigo alone...

Ichigo looked at Orihime, who reluctantly withdrew her shield, and stepped back next to Chad.

'Take your shoot!' Ichigo said to Blas, light of determination shining in his orange eyes.

…...

'Orihime! Are you all right?' Chad asked.

'Yes. Thanks Sado-kun!' she answered, not taking her eyes off of Ichigo's fight. Both arrancars were in their released forms now, and the air trembled heavily from all the unleashed force.

Uryu appeared next to them. He gave Orihime a hard, searching look. She looked back at him steadily.

'We should go now... while he is occupied! We won't get an other chance like this!' Uryu finally sighed.

'What?' Orihime asked. 'What do you mean?'

'We came to take you back.'

'But...'

Uryu stood behind her, and turned her back, to face the fight.

'Look! Just look! What do you see?'

'I... I...'

Orihime's eyes were glued to Ichigo's form. She knew very well what Uryu was getting at. Ichigo's hollow mask transformed to bare those hateful horns that had haunted her nightmares after his fight with Uluquiorra, the former 4th Espada. His hands, as well as his legs resembled clawed paws. There was ferocity, animalistic brutality and killer instinct visible in his every move. Clearly a monster. A brute. She should be grateful for the opportunity to be rid of him, and without endangering her friends more. Ichigo had hurt her, threatened her, played with her. He had been mean with her. But he also saved her. Two times now. And even though he was in his most terrifying form now, there was just too much familiarity about him for Orihime to turn her back on, especially when he was fighting for her sake. She didn't know when she first started to hope, but realized now that the hope was there. Against all reason. She could do nothing against it.

'All I see is... Ichigo!' she finally answered Uryu.

Yes it was Ichigo. Not the protecting angel, but the protecting demon...

The fight was nearing it's end. The arrancar Blas already looked shaken, countering less of the blows. His resurrection resembled a large bear... a wounded, angry, desperate bear. Finally Ichigo had enough, and nearing his enemy he pushed his right hand right through his body. That was the final stroke.

As his enemy fall to the ground, he turned, blood dripping down from his uncurling fingers. All three watchers tensed. His eyes were just too fierce, not really seeing them by the looks of it. He came nearer. Orihime shook, but she took a step forward.

'Orihime!' Uryu warned.

But she didn't heed him. She went boldly closer.

'Ichigo?'

She screamed, as his clawed hands shoot out, and grabbed her, way too roughly.

'Inoue!' Chad cried in alarm.

'Save...' Ichigo spoke slowly, as though it was taking a huge effort. 'Will save... you!'

A hysterical sob racked Orihime's captured body. The grip on her only intensified, forcing her body to arch painfully. Chad could only look horrified. Then there was a blue light, and when Chad looked up, he saw Uryu with a raised bow next to him.

Ichigo's hands fell away from Orihime. The burning light faded from his eyes. He staggered, and his released form melted away in a wave of smoke, his human-like form returning. He looked at his own chest, unbelieving, to see the blue arrow sticking out from there, close to where a heart should be. He collapsed.

'No!' Orihime screamed.

Ichigo was lying on the ground, eyes closed, body twitching slightly.

'Ishida! NOOO! You couldn't!' Chad bellowed, beside himself. 'You... you saw it! He sawed her... he... he was fighting! You couldn't have used the spiritual pressure container!' he felt desperate, angry and betrayed.

Uryu looked pale as a statue.

'Yes I did. But I used a normal arrow, instead of Urahara's special one... Of course I could see too that his spirit was struggling to remember, for Orihime's sake.' he lowered his bow, and walked next to the girl, who was crouching down beside Ichigo now, tentatively putting her hand to his forehead.

'Ichigo...' she whispered through tears, calling him.

'I figured this was the only thing we could do to help him remember clearly... A part of his earlier self.' Uryu said, looking down. 'I hope I wouldn't regret it later.'

Ichigo opened his mouth, and murmured something, but his eyes remained closed. Orihime leaned closer to be able to catch the words.

'What is he saying?' Chad inquired.

Orihime listened for a few seconds longer, but it seemed he wouldn't speak again, so she looked up.

'He said: _"The rain is pouring down."_'

…...

_A/N: Please review! _


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Chapter 7 here. Be warned! Mature stuff! (I tried to go for more poetry than explicitness, but it's still what it is...) _

_Thank you for all the amazing reviews!_

Chapter 7

Ichigo opened his eyes. He seemed to be floating in nothing. Only it was a thick nothing. It was like swimming in water. Maybe even thicker than that. He found breathing to be heavy. Then his feet touched some uneven ground, and he stood on it gladly. The floating was starting to make him dizzy.

He thought he saw something ahead, so he squinted his eyes. But it was difficult. There wasn't much light. But he could recognize the outlines of a figure standing before him. A figure of a tall man. He had his back turned to him, so Ichigo could study the tattered black cloak he was dressed in.

'Where am I? What's this strange place? And... who are you?' he asked.

'Can you hear my voice, again Ichigo?' the stranger asked in a deep voice.

'What do you mean? Of course I hear you, you crazy old man! You're standing right before...'

'This place is the shattered remains of a place that was once my home. It once had a blue sky, constantly cloudy, and tall skyscrapers standing proud...'

'Yeah, yeah! Quit your blabbering, and answer my question already!' Ichigo cried, losing patience. He reached for his sword and raised it high above his head. 'Or I might just cut you down!'

The old man turned, and locked eyes with him. Ichigo's hands began to tremble... His grip on the hilt slackened. Those eyes... this face... he knew this man!

'That blade can not hurt me.'

'Zangetsu!' he choked, shocked by the recognition.

'Yes. You remembered. I'm glad. There's someone here you've got to meet...'

He stepped to the side, reveling that an other man stood behind his back. Ichigo narrowed his eyes. But as he looked, and recognized more and more details of this mysterious stranger's face, wonder took him over again.

'No! This can't be!'

'Hi... long time no see...' said the man quietly, with sadness in his eyes.

'King!'

'Not any more.'

Ichigo's face hardened.

'I guess you're the steed now then.'

'Whatever. It doesn't matter what you call me any more. Anyway, I've got something for you.'

Ichigo narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

'Something for me?'

'Yes.' The other reached into his pocket, and pulled something out, then presented it to him. Ichigo chanced a look.

'The substitute shinigami badge? What would I do with that? Why would I need it?'

'It has the answers to all your questions.'

'And you're offering it freely? Where's the catch?'

'There is no catch. I can't MAKE you take it, but if you're willing to accept it, it's yours.'

Ichigo hesitated. He reached out, but pulled his hand back again. The other waited patiently, not hurrying or nudging him further. Finally he took it, trembling a little when his hands came in contact with the other's.

'Thank you!' he said, his brown eyes shining with sincere gratitude, and maybe some relief.

'Now what do I do?' Ichigo asked.

The other smiled, though it was just a small twinge of his mouth.

'You'll figure it out. And if you don't, I'll still be here.'

…...

'Gil?'

'Hmm?'

Neliel gripped the front of his robe more securely, as he carried her slowly back home. Vasco walked next to them leisurely, still ginning with satisfaction at the thought that they just successfully eliminated a handful of Cayo's men.

'Why are you so nice to me?' Nel asked, her turquoise eyes shining.

Gil looked down to the woman in his arms. A soft smile played at the corner of his lip.

'Idiot! You are still such a child...'

…...

Ichigo opened his eyes again, this time arriving back to reality. He was lying on some soft surface: his own bed back home. And somebody was there beside him...

'Hi...' she greeted nervously.

Ichigo blinked.

'Are you all right?' Orihime asked.

He pondered the question, letting his mind reboot slowly.

'Yeah... More than all right. I think. I can remember everything now.'

'Everything?'

She smiled at him tentatively, but he didn't return it. His eyes were lost in the distance.

'Yeah. I remember Karakura... I remember my family... Karin and Yuzu. I remember Rukia, and being a substitute shinigami. I remember Tatsuki, Keigo and Mizuiro. I remember meeting Chad, and I remember making a truce with Ishida. And I remember you... I remember the feelings. I remember the satisfaction when saving someone. I remember the will to protect. I remember friendship. And I remember love...'

'Oh, Ichigo!' Orihime whispered, tears of happiness in her eyes. Her heart felt so warm, like it wanted to explode from all the feelings it couldn't contain. She wanted to embrace him, but he suddenly sat up.

'Neliel! She's...'

'Don't worry. Gil and Vasco have returned with her. I already healed her injuries. You were passed out for quite long...'

'Where are Chad and Ishida?'

'I've sent them back home... To Karakura.'

His eyes bulged.

'You... you have?'

'Yes.'

'And they just left you here?'

'Well... they did argue... a bit. But I told them I've made my decision.'

'To remain here?'

'Yes.'

'With me?'

'Yes.'

He looked at her with an unfathomable expression, being silent for long. Then asked simply:

'Why?'

She smiled.

'See this?' she asked, reaching up to lightly touch the spiky orange locks at the top of his head. 'Your hair. It's just as short as it used to be... Maybe it's silly, but I've always thought that your hair's longness indicates how much control you have over yourself and your powers. And your eyes. They are almost brown again.' she cupped his face. 'You've changed so much for me...'

But Ichigo drew back from her touch, scowling.

'You should have gone home with them... You really should go now... while I still have the strength to release you. You don't belong here, Orihime...'

'Yes, I do. I once said, that I would love you five lifetimes over. I won't fail right at the second.'

'Orihime...' Ichigo said, already feeling his not that iron-clad resolve shatter.

'You said you needed me... then I do belong here.'

'No matter how much I've changed, I'm not the one I used to be.'

'I know that. But... you've kept your promise...' she answered, her cheeks sparkling crimson. Ichigo could feel her tremble a bit, a thing he couldn't account for in their current situation.

'What promise?' he asked, baffled.

'You... you didn't kill them...'

'Oh. That... Well, of course I didn't!' he said scowling, but the next moment his eyes widened, as he felt the soft, plump lips of Orihime touch his. He could hardly contain the growl of approval slipping through his lips as his one hand flied to the back of her neck while the other curved behind her back pulling her closer with the same move.

He had kissed her a quite a few times since he brought her here, but those were stolen, forced kisses, they couldn't compare with the real thing... This right now, this was what he was missing! He needed it like breathing. His lips slowly mapped out hers, taking dominance, but not overruling her completely. Her mouth parted for him without pressure, and he eagerly devoured her sweet taste, enjoying the gift, enjoying that she was giving it freely. His hands pulled her flush against him, not baring any kind of space between them.

Orihime just melted into his hold, shutting out the outside world completely. Nothing mattered, only the two of them. She silenced all questions, all doubts she may still had. It was almost like they were back to how it used to be before: he had just walked her home from school, and they were now in her apartment... It was easy to imagine, that his skin wasn't paper white, and that she could hear the steady rush of blood under it... She would make them dinner, curry with red-bean paste and onions, and they would watch a movie cuddling on her couch...

Orihime drew back a little. Her eyes were hooded as she whispered.

'I so missed you! You can't even imagine it! It was like... like my life was meaningless without you! That's why I'd do anything, everything for you, as long as I can be beside you!'

Ichigo wanted to scowl, but it came out a little trembling, the side of his mouth curving upwards.

'I remember no such condition in our deal!'

Orihime giggled. She pulled him closer for another kiss. Ichigo returned it eagerly, and his spiritual pressure flared violently as passion ruled over his brain. He only narrowly remembered to put his hand under her head, to ease her fall when he pushed her back on the bed. Now she was spread out under him, an eager prey, ready for the taking. Her eyes shining held no resistance, they only beckoned her hunter closer. Ichigo wanted nothing more than pounce on her, tear off her clothing and claim her as his own without any further delay. Every cell in his body was trembling with need. But strangely enough, her unreserved offering was what gave him the strength to wait, and ask:

'Are you sure about this? If we go any further I won't be able to stop...'

'I'm sure.'

'Orihime... Look here!'

She raised her eyes to his questioningly.

'No! Here!' Ichigo said, directing her head downwards. He took her hand, and pressed it to his chest, starting to move it down. His shirt parted, and the black hole in the middle of his chest became visible. He felt Orihime's hand twitch in his, as he forcefully made her touch the grotesque gap.

'I want you to completely understand what you're facing. This here... no matter how much I change, this will remain. I said I remember everything from my past life. And I do. But that's it.'

'What do you mean "that's it"?' Orihime asked, trembling.

'I only remember. I can't feel. I don't have a heart any more to feel with! I know I've been deeply in love with you. I know how it used to warm me. How it used to fill me, like life itself... I'll never stop carving it... But I can't feel it any more... '

Pity flashed through Orihime painfully. But it was only pity for him, she wasn't thinking at all about herself... Her trembling stopped, and her eyes hardened with resolution, as she pressed her palm flat against the hateful hollow-hole on his chest. With her other hand she grabbed his collar, and pulled him firmly down.

'I'll make you feel it!' she wowed, before kissing him, putting everything she got into it...

This was too much for Ichigo, and his control snapped totally. She was prepared for that, even if she hadn't been able to exactly imagine how intense it would feel. It was all part of the deal she made. So it was all right...

She met his passion with tenderness. His lust with gentle longing. She tamed his force by acceptance, his haste with patience, his dominance with yielding and his roughness with forgiveness. He wanted her, and she needed him. He was taking and she was giving. He was instinct and she was emotion. He was power and she was wisdom.

'Tell me if I'm too rough!' he said hoarsely, and she valued this gesture, feeling how much it cost him in his current state. She didn't even know how, but he was already naked, and he was working on getting her there too, without breaking his kisses, that rained down on every part of her body he could reach. He flipped her over, pulling her up to stand on all fours to be able to take off her skirt and panties. He now had access to her bare back, and he took advantage of the fact. Orihime moaned discovering how sensitive the skin just under her neck was...

Hearing her voice, Ichigo couldn't contain himself, and his hip rocked forward, pressing up against hers. He growled, while she blushed, and couldn't help a little shiver of fear ran through her. He just felt so hard down there... He withdrew, and used his hand to find her entrance. Orihime's fear quieted as she was lost in the new pleasurable sensations his actions were making her feel. He slipped a finger inside her, and it was maddening how hot, tight and wet she was... After a few more seconds he lost all patience for a longer foreplay and removing his finger he gripped her hips and positioned himself, ready to thrust.

'No...' Orihime panted. She turned out of his grip and lied back on her back, facing him. 'Please... like this!' She smiled for him, letting him know that it was all right. She lifted her hands to pull him close. 'I want to see you... It's more intimate this way...'

'Ok.' he managed to reply, because really, at this point it made no difference to him anyway.

He didn't give her any more time to feel fear, or anything else. With one confident, powerful move he took her. As he filled her, and felt her tight walls surround him, suddenly everything became quiet inside him. It was like jumping into a lake after running a marathon. There was peace and contentment inside him. It was soothing, like listening to an old, half forgotten melody. He had arrived home...

He remained in place, looking down on her, not even realizing that she was in pain. But he bent down to kiss her, and kiss away the tears slipping from her eyes, feeling the salty taste like a curious scientist studying a mesmerizing phenomena. And for a moment he was able to believe it... that she would indeed be able to do as she promised... to make him feel again. Like with a heart...

Then the spell was broken, and the compelling instincts resurfaced again. Luckily, Orihime was able to somewhat adjust, now she only needed to find a way of keeping up. With the first pain gone, she needed to will herself to relax and just let him have his way, just let it be. It was not easy: when you're blown away your instinct tells you to grab onto something, not to float off with the tides... But she managed, her only support being his sweet name, that she whispered over and over again. She was soon rewarded. If she didn't, at least her body knew how to respond to him. She felt some strange, foreign hotness build up, that was only embers at first, but transformed to crackling flames soon. She closed her eyes, and saw white lightning flash through her eyelids. She heard her own voice, no longer coherent words, only gasps and moans, and she vaguely wondered whether she would make it without passing out...

She made it... The end came for both of them soon, and it was so intense, that Orihime's body could process the bliss only slowly, providing her with a few minutes of delightful afterglow, which plastered a goofy smile on her face. Finally she felt him move, and that made her open her eyes again. She frowned mildly from the feeling of loss when their bodies separated from each other. Ichigo collapsed next to her, his body glistering from sweat. His breathing was even now, his eyes closed and his features relaxed. Orihime climbed closer to him, waiting for some kind of message or reaction.

'Ichigo?' she asked shyly, her voice hoarse from dryness of throat.

Hearing her voice he smiled. He reached out, pulling her closer. Orihime sighed contently, and nested herself cozily in his embrace.

'I love you...' she whispered tiredly.

She went to sleep with the thought that no matter what, they would be all right now...

oOoOoOoOo

_A/N: This is not the end... about half of 2/3rd of the story I guess. Hope the lemon was all right, that's something you can only write when you're in the mood, I kept putting it off for days now, lol, even though I was impatient to know your opinion on the rest of the chapter. If you're confused about something, please don't hesitate to ask! (The substitute badge was only a mental representation of Ichigo regaining something from his earlier self, it doesn't mean he has soul reaper powers now.)_

_Please review!_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

He was watching her. Just watching. The miracle of porcelain skin being painted to life by blood rushing under the tissues. Her bosom lifting up and down, carrying her breath. Her heart beating steadily inside her chest.

He leaned closer to her mouth. Not for kissing. Yet. He could feel he would give in to his more pressing instincts soon, but right then, he just studied her, trying to understand. He inhaled her hot, steaming-out breath as if somehow with that he would be able to catch some portion of her very soul. As it was, he couldn't. Orihime Inoue was not just flesh and bone. The secret lied deeper than that.

A mystery...

He wanted to understand. He longed to delve into her until he unraveled it. He ached with the need to be closer to her. He carved it... but didn't know how. It drove him mad. He was tempted to sank his teeth into her sweet smelling skin, until he could taste her blood. He had a few times too, and even though the taste was addicting, that was not what he was searching for.

He was a hollow. He knew he would never be able to do so, but the thought of just devouring her soul, eating it, making it become his very own... yes. This thought was there. But then the secret, this cruel, most agonizing secret, that amazing miracle that was she herself would be lost.

She had a controversial effect on him. At one time, she cured and torn apart more his mangled soul. She brought medicine and venom at the same time. Her nearness soothed him, filled him, made him more, better than he was... But never filled him completely. No matter that she was giving with all her might, it was still not enough to fully satisfy the longing inside him. It was like being presented with a wonderful gift, but only getting half of it. Like making love, never-ever reaching fulfillment. And the promise of it seemingly being so close, yet unreachable made the need all the more aching.

She was still sleeping. She needed sleep, she had only been sleeping for a few hours after all. But he couldn't fight it any more: he just had to have something to dull the pain inside him... His hold around her strengthened, his body shifting closer to her almost subconsciously. His head leaned in, searching for his favorite spot under the shell of her ear. As his lips connected they made her draw in a large breath.

Orihime stirred from her sleep, mumbling his name half consciously before her mouth was sealed by his. She rolled easily on her back, giving him better access, releasing a content sigh. Ichigo smiled, and his hand slid down her naked body while he continued with the raining down kisses, the feel of them more urgent with every second.

She was really giving him everything... It was not her fault. She wasn't hiding anything from him. Her body, her soul: she put everything on the line for him. She was all his to use however he liked. She wasn't able to bring him full contentment, because the missing part was missing from him. She could not return that. And it was not her fault, that her presence, while bringing bliss in other things, made the absence of that needed thing more pressing than before. Almost unbearable.

What he missed was being able to return. She seemed content with what she was receiving in their relationship, but he was not. Even if he couldn't put this into words like this, that was the case. He wanted to give her so much more. Not only because she deserved that (though that was certainly true) but because he himself carved the contentment of giving and of being received. But where there should be the source of warmness inside him, there was only emptiness. She could fill it, temporarily, but as soon as they separated, the warmth disappeared too soon, leaving him even colder than before. So he had to come back for more... and more... and more.

He knew he was tainting her. Draining her. He had to, with such unsatisfiable carving. And he was afraid, terribly afraid, that one day he would break her completely with his hunger. And when that happened, he knew he wouldn't be able to put her back again... And he knew he wouldn't be able to face life without her any more.

He tried to hold himself back, to take less, at a more rational speed, that would let her time to recover. But it was no use. How could he hold back, when she WANTED to give? Even if it broke her... An endless cycle, spiraling down to the inevitable doom...

Even now, with these dark thought swirling inside him, he couldn't bring himself to pull back, to release her. If doomed he must be, he would be doomed in bliss...

If only he didn't have to sentence her to doom with him...

…...

Neliel and Orihime were dancing in the moonlight. Peche and Dondochakka provided the music, singing, and playing some makeshift instruments they regarded to be a drum and a harp. The resulting jangle filling the air could hardly be called music at all, but the girls didn't seem to mind. The twirled around, holding each others hand, laughing, much to the delight of the musicians.

'Gil?' Ichigo asked the man standing next to him, while he was watching the show.

'Yes, my Lord?'

Ichigo sighed, but he really didn't have patience for another pointless argument right then, so he let the title just go. He knew that before Gil had joined him, he had been serving under Cayo, and had such formalities hammered into his scull painfully. So instead of reprinting him, he took another moment to properly formulate the thing bugging him.

'Neliel. She seems so... all right. Content.'

Gil smiled.

'Yes. She sure does.'

'And you. You're like that too.' Ichigo said more forcefully, turning to him.

'Maybe more so of lately.' Gil said frowning.

'How?' The question burst out of Ichigo. He looked a little frustrated, as if the others were hiding the secrets of their contentment from him on purpose. 'I mean... don't you feel it? That dissonance deep within... the longing. The gap?' he sighed. 'Oh, you probably doesn't even know what I'm talking about...'

'Yes, I do. You're talking about that thing which makes us hollows.' Gil said simply, looking at his chosen master knowingly.

Ichigo's eyes widened with surprise.

'Yes! I am...'

'Of course I can feel it. We all do. Even Neliel. Though she seems to have find a way of dealing with it. To tell the truth, that was what caught my eye in her first. She's special with that.'

'Yes, she is.' Ichigo agreed. 'But how is she doing it?'

'That I don't know. But... you remembering your human life made me thinking.' Gil admitted. 'Even when you hadn't remembered yet, your desires from your human life were leading you. And when you were able to remember those desires were explained. Maybe we're all like that. Our unfinished businesses, desires and hopes are brought with us into this after life, and they are intensified to be addictions, obsessions... I think Neliel was lucky. She must have been content in her human life. Or close to it. And she must have had simple, pure, easily satisfiable desires... like an innocent child.'

The boys turned back to watch the girls dancing again.

'They must have a thing or two in common with Orihime...' Ichigo finally noted, smiling a little.

Gil smiled too.

'That's true. They both are exceptionable... Can I ask a question?'

'Sure.'

'Why do you think you were able to remember her?'

'That at least I can answer now.' Ichigo sighed.

'Really?'

'Yes. It's actually quite simple. My hollow side was half conscious during my human life. That's why I could remember at all. And I could remember her the most clearly, because she was the only one being able to bring out a reaction in this side of me, even then...'

Ichigo fell silent. He was thinking Gil's theory over again. He was sure that his arrancar friend was right, or very close to the truth. If he was... then what did this mean regarding himself? What did it tell about him, that being close to Orihime, and having her love was not enough? What other, even stronger motives did he have as a human, that wouldn't let him be content now? And the answer was easy: he had always, always wanted to protect her, no matter what...

A cry brought him out of his musing.

'Ichigo!' It was Nel shouting. She was holding Orihime's arm, no longer dancing, but supporting her up.

Ichigo was there next to them in the blink of an eye.

'Orihime!' he called her, alarmed, even as he scooped her limp body up into his arms easily, like she was feather-light.

She smiled at him.

'I'm all right! He-he! All this spinning just made me a little dizzy! You can put me down now!'

But Ichigo only embraced her closer, scowling.

'I think you had enough dancing for today.'

…...

Neliel entered the kitchen, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She found herself face to face with a smiling Orihime.

'Surprise!' the brunette cried enthusiastically, waving a plate of food before her eyes. 'Hueco Mundo's best for breakfast!'

Nel sighed.

'Thanks Orihime! But you really don't have to do this you know... At least not every morning...'

'You know how I simply love to cook!' she stated, still radiating happiness. But then her face fell somewhat. 'And besides... there is nothing else here I could make myself useful with...'

'Ah, I see. Where are the boys?'

What good humor was left on Orihime's features disappeared with this question.

'They went out again. They said they would only look around, but I'm not fooled. I'm sure they went to fight those troupes of Cayo's that invaded our territory...'

Nel nodded.

'Those bastards sure been rather itchy these last months... But don't worry! They'll deal with them fine... as always.'

Orihime nodded too, looking thoughtful.

'Well no-one misses them!' Peche said, turning to them from the counter, swinging a large knife in his hand absent mindedly. 'I think it's more fun with only the four of us! Ichigo-sama is always so SERIOUS... and Vasko-san can give me the creeps (don't tell him that, pleaseeee!) while Gil-san doesn't understand a joke at all! Orihime-chan? Am I doing this right?' he asked pointing to the vegetables he was cutting up.

'Yes, thank you...' Orihime said quickly, trying to remove the dangerous weapon from the hollow's too enthusiastic grip. 'I'll just finish it up quickly, and it's ready for the stew!' she added, when she had the knife, and could take a look at Peche's haphazardly done work. She set to trying to repair the damage, wearing a forced smile.

Neliel sat down with her plate, but as she started her meal, she still had an eye on the other woman.

'Are you all right, Orihime?'

'Sure! Why do you ask?' Orihime replied quickly. Maybe a bit too quickly, and too forcefully. Even Nel noticed that her smile was just too unnaturally wide. She frowned.

'Did you two had a row with Ichi, or something?'

Orihime's eyes widened in earnest surprise.

'Of course not!' she said sincerely.

Nel softened.

'Then what is it?'

'Nothing... maybe I'm a bit tired, that's all. And I wish they were back already...'

This answer contented Nel, and she focused on her breakfast now.

'Mmm... this is really good today! I like it!'

'Thanks!' Orihime said happily. She continued her work on the vegetables, and after a few seconds she asked: 'Erm... Nel-chan? Can I ask you something? How long do you think I've been here? I mean there is no calendar here or anything, and one day is very much like the other... Not to mention that the sky is always dark. I think I lost track of time...'

'Yes, it must be confusing to a human like yourself!' she answered, compassionate. 'Let's see... I don't know for sure, but I think it must be a few months to say the least, in therms of your race...'

'Months...' Orihime repeated, looking ahead of herself.

Nel narrowed her eyes.

'Are you happy here?'

'Of course I am!' she ascertained. 'I'm with Ichigo, and nothing could make me more happy!'

The two women smiled at each other. But then something happened. Orihime suddenly paled, and she had to grab the table's side for support, putting the knife down.

'Orihime!' Nel cried, springing to her feet.

'I'm all right...' she answered, smiling kind of weakly. 'I just lost my balance... it happens from time to time... nothing serious.'

Neliel bit her lip, looking worried. This was not the first time that happened to the gentle healer... Nel made a mental note to speak with Ichigo about this later.

'Orihime-chan! Orihime-chan!' Dondochakka exclaimed. He was occupied with stirring the pot on Orihime's orders. 'Dondochakka helped! You said you usually put everything you feel like adding into the pot. I tried it! It really is fun! Look!'

He lifted the lid, and eyed the boiling, gruesome, thick, khaki-green concoction misty eyed. Orihime neared him cautiously, but as the first whiff reached her nose, she clapped a hand to her mouth.

'Excuse me!' she managed to mumble, before sprinting out of the room...

…...

Orihime stretched herself, yawning contently. She felt cozy, and unusually well rested. Her awakening senses registered Ichigo's spiritual pressure, but her groping hands couldn't find him in the bed next to her. So she looked up, opening two beady eyes. She found him sitting on the side of the bed, watching her intently, with a mild scowl on his face.

'Are you awake now?' he asked.

She smiled a big, greeting smile.

'Ichigo! You're back!'

'We need to talk.' he stated.

Orihime blinked. There was some disturbing undertone to his voice, that didn't sit right with her.

'Talk?' she asked, struggling for full consciousness.

'Yes, talk.'

She half raised herself on her elbow, looking at him. He groaned: the move made the quilt slide down from her bare shoulder, and the sight did nothing good towards strengthening his resolution.

'You better get back down!' he scowled, pushing her back, and pulling the covers up on her properly again.

'What is it?' Orihime asked, feeling confused, and slightly worried.

He looked at her deeply before answering. His eyes were brown, but they held an orange glint nonetheless.

'I decided it was time for you to pay a little visit home.'

Orihime was even more confused, and a little fear surfaced.

'Home? I am home!' she protested.

He shook his head, looking serious.

'No. You're not.'

Tears begin to well up in the corners of her eyes.

'You... you're sending me away? Why? You... aren't you... satisfied with me?'

He sighed.

'Orihime! Don't be silly! It's nothing like that!' he scratched his head in frustration, then placed a smile on his face. 'Don't you want to see your friends? Don't you want to see Tatsuki?'

Orihime became quiet thinking this over.

'Yes... I do want to see them... I guess I could go for a day... or maybe just an afternoon... I could visit my place, hang out with Tatsuki, and bring a few of my personal things back here... I'd like that...'

It was true: she missed her friends dearly. There wasn't a day when she didn't think about Tatsuki. With Ichigo being away frequently, she was really lonely sometimes. And bored. There was not many things to do here, besides playing with Peche and Dondochakka, and that got tiring after a while. Nel was a great friend, but she couldn't be as open with her, as she used to be with Tatsuki. But still she was hesitant to go... because she knew that if she went, and felt the warm sun on her skin again, saw the familiar buildings, the trees, heard the birds singing, it would be so difficult to return back here...

'I was thinking about a more prolonged stay, actually.' Ichigo said, not meeting her eyes.

All her former fears of him not wanting her any more returned instantly.

'Why?' she cried.

He lifted his pained gaze to meet her frightened one.

'Neliel told me about what happened this morning. And she's not the only one to notice.' He cupped her face gently with one hand, and caressed her chin with his thumb. 'You don't look too well... your skin is pale, there are permanent shadows under your eyes... I'm worried! Hueco Mundo is doing you no good... You have to return to your world, and gather some strength before you can return to me again. I don't want to let you go... but I don't know what else I could do.'

She smiled, her relief and happiness adoring her features.

'Thank you Ichigo! You are so kind and thoughtful worrying about me! But I'm fine, really! Never been better!'

'Orihime! You nearly fainted this morning! Be honest with yourself! This can't go on like this!'

'Then... you should come with me...' she said wishfully.

Ichigo scowled.

'You know I can't. Not after the message Chad brought...'

Orihime sighed. She recalled the gentle giant's visit quite clearly. Sado-kun had come to check on her a week after her choosing to stay with Ichigo. He had told them, that Soul Society had a message for Ichigo. They had promised to leave him be, and be with Orihime (a hollow kidnapping a human was a crime soul reapers vowed to punish after all), as long as he stayed in Hueco Mundo. But should he come to the real world, he must expect every Captain on his heel instantly. It was a truce, and Ichigo had no intention to break it, and force a needless battle with his former allies.

It's needless to say, that with this message Chad's visit had been strained and rather awkward. Even he didn't know how to be in the presence of his former, so changed friend when they weren't fighting back to back... So Chad had returned to the real world quickly, and no-one came ever since...

'I can remember a story from somewhere...' Ichigo started again. 'I think it's from greek mythology. But I can't remember the names clearly. There was this girl the lord of the underworld kidnapped, and made her to be his queen. But her mother, who was the God of Earth carved to see her again so much, that she became depressed, and wouldn't do her duty until she saw her daughter again.'

'Yes. That's Persephone's story. The underworld's lord was Hades and her mother Demeter.'

'Then you must know the ending. Hades had to agree to letting her go, and spend half the year with her mother, and only half with him...'

Orihime paled, shaking her head frantically in fear.

'Half a year? No! Please! I just can't! I couldn't bare it! I don't know if I could even bare being far from you for a week! But half a year! And besides: it's unnecessary! You're worrying too much... I'm fine, really! There is nothing wrong with me! I... I promise to take better care of myself, ok? I promise I'll try to rest more! That's all I need! Please don't send me away...'

Her eyes were tearing up completely, and she gripped his shirt firmly, pulling him closer, like she never wanted to let go.

'But I'm, not...' Ichigo tried, but Orihime was kissing him, and after a few seconds he could hardly remember their argument at all...

...

'What's the idea Vasco?' Ichigo cried, beside himself. 'Get your filthy hands of her!'

'I'm only transporting her, don't get all jealous, damn it!' Vasco said, with a little alarm in his voice, while he released Orihime, and stepped back a little. He even raised his hands in a surrendering gesture, and also showing he meant no harm. They had landed on the sand-dunes that were painted red from blood.

'It's all right, Ichigo...' Orihime tried to sooth him too. It wouldn't do them good, if Ichigo suddenly turned on his allies in the midst of the battle for something this silly. But as it was, he was just way too protective of her...

'Why did you have to bring her at all, you pain-in-the-ass?' Ichigo bellowed. 'This is battle!'

Vasco turned a little red, anger gathering inside him too now.

'Yes, battle! And I could feel that Gil was injured! And she can heal! I thought you wanted us to accept her into this supposed-to-be family of ours! Then she must do her part, and help!'

'Of course I want to...' Orihime began, but she was silenced by Ichigo cutting across her again.

'I don't want her anywhere close to danger, is that clear?'

Vasco muttered something unintelligible.

'What was that?' Ichigo demanded, completely red from anger.

'Nothing. I'll just go help Neliel, if you will.'

Ichigo walked up to Orihime, taking her arm roughly, and leading her next to the injured Gil. His eyes moved to and for, studying their surroundings suspiciously.

'Stay here. And for Heaven's sake, don't do anything stupid!' he ordered her.

'Ay-ay sir!' Orihime answered, saluting.

Ichigo smiled despite himself, and went to rejoin the battle. But from the corner of his eye, he kept watch on her. Seeing the glowing light of her Soten Kisshun contented him, but it was noticeable in his performance, that his attention was divided.

'Just what the Hell are you doing, Ichigo? You fight like a sissy... or a lovesick puppy, damn it!' Vasco cursed. 'What are you waiting for? Transform already! You could sweep the floor with these little bugs!'

Ichigo gritted his teeth. If Vasco really wanted him to transform, he should have known better than bringing Orihime here. That he wouldn't do now, even if he had to pay for it in his own blood. He didn't want to lose control again in her presence, if there was one way around it. Their enemies were not remarkably strong, but they had the numbers.

Orihime watched him fight, fear and worry tearing at her heart. She was only guiding her shield's work by her palm resting on it's surface. Her fingers were beating a fast, nervous rhythm, as she tried to will the process go faster by pushing more of her spirit energy into the yellow dome.

Gil saw it before her, and he cried out a warning from under her shield. That was what saved her life. She jumped, crying for her Santen Kesshun as she felt the pain set in, and her hot blood oozing out from the wound. A hollow had sneaked up on her, sinking it's clawed hand in her flesh. She was shaken, but she could still fight.

'Tsubaki!' she cried, firing her destructive power, and the hollow disappeared in a wave of smoke.

Ichigo arrived only a moment later, abandoning the battle again to rush to her aid. Orihime looked at him apologetically, before her legs gave way under herself. All her working shields broke and fell apart. She fell to the ground, passing out.

Ichigo was shaking. From anger and from desperation.

'Don't worry.' Gil said, as steadily and firmly as he could. 'Her wound in not life-threatening. She only over-exerted herself. Luckily, she was able to heal me almost completely. I can take her back. I know some healing, I can take care of her wound, until she recovers and mends it herself!'

Ichigo closed his eyes and swallowed hard. It took a long time before he nodded his consent. When he went back to the battle he knew he would set loose completely... not because he needed to, but because he wanted to... And Vasco should pray he would be in any condition to distinguish friend from foe...

…...

Ichigo stood in the shadow of the familiar building, looking up and wondering how he should feel now. He could feel the three spiritual pressures inside clearly, and his hollow senses even made him feel the warmness of blood pounding in the oblivious humans inside. He shifted his hold slightly on the unconscious girl in his arms to support her head better as he strengthened his resolve. He must do this... for her. He began moving.

He knew where the spare key was, so he adjusted Orihime's weight again on the doorstep, holding her with only one hand, the other fiddling to find the loose tile above the door-frame. Having the key, he inserted it in the lock. It turned with a click, which sounded more ominous in the silence of the night than it should be. He sighed, and entered. There wasn't much light, but he could navigate fine. Everything looked just like he remembered it. The shoes next to the door... The coat-rack... The telephone... Even the familiar pattern of the rug caught his eye.

His gaze wandered unbidden to the stairs... but he mustn't go up there. That would only make things harder. That was not what he came here for. And he needed to hurry anyway. So he crossed the kitchen quickly, deliberately avoiding looking at the friendly dining table surrounded by four chairs, and the large poster of a smiling woman behind it... He headed for the Clinic's rooms, and opened the door of the room that patients staying the night could use. He went inside, and stepped next to the bed, pulling the covers back. He closed his eyes, and just stood there a moment longer, his arms cradling Orihime close. Then he began lowering her to the bed slowly, taking care to hold her head until it reached the pillow. She uttered a soft, pained moan, and rolled to her side, balling up like a small child. Ichigo tucked her in, before stepping back. His features were hard, set with determination.

'Take care, Orihime...' he said quietly.

There. He had done it!... Almost. He still needed to turn his back on her and walk out of this room. For a moment he was thorn. He thought he wouldn't be able to do it. She looked so heartbreakingly beautiful to him, with her mouth slightly parted, her breath coming out in small, warm huffs...

But suddenly he strained. He felt a presence behind him.

'Don't worry!' he said, without turning. 'I'll be gone in a sec... I'm not looking for trouble.'

'Ichigo...' Isshin's voice was thick with emotions, bitterness the most evident among them. Second's passed silently, with neither of them moving. When Isshin finally found his voice again, he asked: 'What's wrong with her?'

'Hueco Mundo's air is slowly killing poison to her spirit. Even against her wish, I had to bring her back.'

'I see.'

Ichigo finally turned, his flashing gaze meeting his father's fleetingly.

'Karin and Yuzu?'

Isshin's eyes widened ever so slightly with surprise. He didn't expect his son's hollow form to look this human...

'They are all right.'

Ichigo only nodded, averting his eyes now. He looked back to Orihime instead. He reached out, and smoothed out a probably nonexistent wrinkle on her blanket.

'Do me a favor will ya? Look after her...'

'Of course I will.'

Ichigo's fists balled up.

'Thanks...'

More seconds passed. Ichigo could bare it no longer. He sighed heavily, and looked up one last time, offering a strained half smile to Isshin, before leaving the scene with sonido, just vanishing away. As soon as he was far enough, he opened a garganta and marched into it without looking back... to return where he belonged.

…...

_A/N: Hello again, I hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it was angsty. Life's been happening around here, so I'm really proud of myself to get a decent-length chapter out now. _

_I must say I'm trying very hard to evade any "Twilight" vibes, but it proves difficult because of the topic. And I hope it's only true to this particular chapter. _

_I hope I managed to make a few things clear here, explaining about how Ichigo was able to remember and why he feels the way he does. If you could spare a few moments, I would really like to read your opinion! Please review!_


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Sorry it took so long! Here's chapter 9, with quite a lot of things happening..._

_Chapter 9_

'Well Vasco... are you happy now?' Gil asked bitterly. He had an arm around Neliel's shoulders, and the girl pushed herself to his side, while her fearful eyes followed Ichigo's fight.

Vasco grinned.

'Of course I'm happy! Can't you see? He's finally fighting with no restraints again! Like a maniac! So sweet! We'll have Cayo bow before us in a matter of weeks now!'

Nel looked at him disgusted.

'That's all you care about, isn't it?'

'What more is there? I want the leisurity of being able to live without watching my back... to look down on others from the top spot! Just think about it! Don't you two want that freedom? I'm sure you do! That's why you've struck with him all this time, isn't it? What else motive would you have, choosing to live in his shadow?'

Nel sighed.

'You wouldn't understand...'

They watched as Ichigo finished up the fight, tearing the bodies of two arrancars to pieces without even using his sword. His orange eyes shone out sinisterly from under his mask, and the white skin of his hands was painted crimson with blood. When the last shrieks of his victims died, he turned to face them, throwing away a ripped out arm carelessly.

'Neliel... go...' Gil said, giving her a little push forward, releasing her shoulder.

She gulped.

'All right... I wish Orihime-chan was here now... she's so much better with this...' she stepped tentatively forward, calling: 'Ichigo?'

Ichigo raised his shining eyes at her. They were wild. Gil tensed behind Neliel, and even Vasco stepped closer so they could protect her if things got out of hand.

Ichigo released a monstrous, out of control cry. It felt rather sad and defeated instead of victorious.

'Ichigo... the fight's over. Please... come back! Come home with us!' Nel begged.

He eyed the three of them heavily. Vasco's hand traveled in the direction of his zanpakuto, as subtle as he could make it. But Ichigo just turned his back on them, and left, disappearing in the distance.

'Oh, Ichigo...' Nel said softly, tears gathering in her eyes.

Gil rushed forward to embrace her again. He was no longer jealous of the place Ichigo occupied in Nel's heart, since she still somehow found place for him too. Maybe she had shifted her affections for Ichigo to be more sisterly-like. And Gil cherished a brotherly love of his own for their leader, so he could understand that better than anyone.

'Let's go home. He'll be back once he cooled down. As always.'

Nel brushed at her eyes impatiently.

'Last time it took three days... and it's getting worse. Maybe...' she said scowling.

'No. We mustn't interfere.' Gil said firmly. 'It's their business.'

'Yeah. I know.' she sighed. 'It's only... that I've known Ichi as a human... He was almost like that again, with her by his side... and I... I miss that...'

Gil smiled at her. Neliel was just the most amazing woman he knew.

…...

Ichigo sat alone on top of a huge boulder. He had long ago calmed down. Even his mask couldn't keep his misery away any more, so there was no use in keeping it on. He remembered Neliel's begging words: _'...please come back! Come home with us!'_ and felt guilty that he was making her worry. But he was not entirely sure he had a place called HOME here any more. It didn't feel like home, not without Orihime.

He sighed. He simply hated feeling so empty and miserable. But he remained secure that he had done the right thing. He had taken her back where she belonged, she would surely began to heal... He couldn't bare the thought that he had tainted her beyond repair with forcing her to remain with him in Hueco Mundo. She would heal with time. Wouldn't she? She simply must...

Her body will heal, and maybe... just maybe even her soul. She will come to realize how much she had foolishly left behind for him, and would never want to return. That would be a good thing, something to rejoice over... So why? Why did the mere thought make him so fucking angry that he wanted to tear, rip and kill anything near?

He feared it, he feared that his control would slip one day, and he would end up visiting her... Just to tell her how much he loved her... To tell her he was sorry... for everything. For kidnapping her in the first place, for wanting her, for needing her, and for betraying her, even if it was for her own good. He wanted to hold her in his arms, just one more time, to see that she wasn't just some friction of his imagination, wasn't just a memory. He wanted to make love to her... and he wanted to sneak his hands around her throat, and take her life, so that she would finally be his, and ease his pains away.

This last though scared him. And it showed more than anything how right he had been in parting with her. He told himself to always remember this: he couldn't be sure when his hollow instincts would overpower his more human-like mind. He mustn't let his guard down, not for one minute!

_'If only I knew she was all right... Maybe she hates me now, for denying her the chance of saying goodby. Maybe she feels the same pain as I do. And there is nothing I can do to help. But... what if she doesn't?'_

Suddenly he could see it before him. Orihime, walking down Karakura's streets, with a blue sky above, and a happy smile on her face. He could almost hear her carefree laughter, carried away by the gentle wind. She raised her hand to wave at somebody across the street, and at first Ichigo thought it was Tatsuki. But then he realized it was a man. A faceless stranger...

Unbidden, a menacing growl erupted from his chest, deep and vibrating, and the pain constricting his chest seemed to double. He realized that he was drawing in air too fast, and with much force willed himself to calm down. When he somewhat achieved that, he forced his mind to return to this hateful image, and analyze the truth it held with more objectively. Because it was true: Orihime would be more all right with ANY faceless stranger, provided him didn't have a hole through his chest... Was he really so selfish and cruel to take away the chance of living the full life she deserved from her, even if it was not with him?

Suddenly his more deep instincts gave a warning that he should give the outside world some attention, and he turned his attention outward. His senses registered the drawing near spiritual pressure. He waited, until the newcomer arrived within earshot.

'Chad? Is that you?'

'Ichigo.'

He stood up quickly, and approached his former friend, happiness and appreciation waring inside him.

'Chad! How come you're here? Something happened? What news do you bring?'

Chad saw his agitation, and gave him a half smile, though his posture remained stiff.

'It's all right. Nothing new happened. I just fancied a talk.'

Ichigo relaxed, and returned his smile with one of his own. Chad stepped up next to him, and they both let their eyes sweep the sand-dunes before them, letting a few seconds of silence linger.

'I think you should come and see Inoue-san... you two need to talk.' Chad finally began in his always straightforward manner. 'I tried to talk to Urahara-san about Soul Society granting you a few hours of safe visiting time...'

When he finished his speech Chad turned to take a good look at Ichigo's face, trying to read from the expression of his eyes that were shining orange once more now that Orihime's constant presence weren't taming his spirit.

'How is she?' Ichigo asked in a bitter voice, that conveyed how much he was fearing the answer.

'Not too well...'

Ichigo walked forward a little, buried in his own dark thoughts. It took a long time before he turned. His face was set.

'Chad... I need a favor to ask of you. I'll give you a letter to take it to Urahara. I've made up my mind...'

Thinking that his friend meant he's going to comply with his wish, Chad's heart eased...

…...

'Rukia Kuchiki?'

'Yes? I'm here!'

'Post for you, ma'am!'

Rukia looked curious as she put her sword down, and swept the sweat from her brows. Renji, her sparing partner for the day just stood opposite her, letting his blade rest on his shoulders with a grin.

'Ah... don't tell me you have secret admirers, your Highness!' he mocked.

This earned him a dark glare, but he wasn't intimidated. He even snickered for Ikkaku's and Kira's benefit, who were also practicing their fighting skills next to them.

Rukia studied the formal address on the envelope with furrowed brows. Her name, rank and division in capital letters, but no consigner. There was a signet though which indicated that the letter came from the human world, via Urahara's shop. Renji looked at her serious face as she studied the letter's front.

'Oh, come on... It must be some real interesting intelligence to make you this put on...' he teased farther. 'Let me see it too!' and he went to step behind Rukia, who was already folding out the paper from inside the envelope.

The raven haired soul reaper's eyes widened upon seeing the message. Her face paled, and she had to lick her lips against their sudden dryness...

'What the hell...?' Renji asked confused. 'Can't make heads or tails of this... Just who sends you stuff like this? And why is it full of freaking bunnies scattered between the kanjis?'

Rukia's eyes began to move fast, studying the letter intently. Then she quickly folded it, and stuffed it away into her kimono.

'Let's continue, Renji!' she said firmly.

'But...' the red-head protested, looking confused.

'It's none of your business, Renji. I said let's continue the sparing!'

Renji looked at her face suspiciously, but she now wore a neutral expression, and except for the anger directed at him, Renji could read no more of her emotions. But still, he felt an uneasy feeling settle in the pit of his stomach somehow...

…...

'Orihime!'

Orihime woke up in her bed, dabbing at her tired eyes with her knuckles.

'Who is it?' she asked distractedly.

'It's me... Neliel!'

'Nel-chan? But... how come you're here?'

'Never mind that now, Orihime! Please! Ichigo! I think... I think he's about to do something really stupid!'

…...

Rukia neared the familiar building with her heart beating wildly. The light of the half moon basked the friendly site in a pure silver light, making the railings nearly glow. She landed on the roof. He was already there, waiting for her. She was vaguely reminded of their first time here, having lunch with Keigo and Mizuiro. That was when she had trouble opening her very first box of orange juice, and he had so casually helped her out, wearing his famous scowl. For some reason that little moment got struck in her mind, and she treasured it ever since. Just because it was so like Ichigo not to even notice how nice he was being to others, while doing everything to keep the frightening "punk" facade...

But that Ichigo, the Ichigo she knew, her friend, her comrade in arms, her soul mate in many things was no more. This man before her was a different being, foreign, unpredictable and dangerous... The letter he had sent her, calling her here had chilled her. Even though Chad and Ishida had told her how Orihime's presence and her choice of remaining with him have turned him more human-like than what they ever would have expected, it still made goosebumps appear on her arms to receive such a letter from him. He had used the same code she had made up herself when leaving him to take responsibility for her crime of giving him her powers. That he remembered even something that trivial from his human life seemed incomprehensible. (Even more incomprehensible that he would indeed resort to drawing bunnies...) It made some unbidden warmth light up a special corner of her heart... She told herself she had to be careful, but after much hesitation and debating with herself, she decided to come, and give him this chance. She just needed to know what he would want from her. From her of all people...

Rukia watched him pushing himself forward from the railings behind him. Everything seemed like an upside-down version of how things used to be, with it being night instead of day. He moved with slow, measured steps, coming nearer, clearly not wanting to scare her.

'Hi... Rukia.'

'Ichigo!' she answered, not managing to keep the bitterness out of her voice completely.

'You've come. And alone, as I asked. I'm grateful. Don't worry, I mean you no harm, and to nobody else...'

'What a place to choose for a meeting...' she commented, trying to scowl to hide her emotions. 'Really... the school roof?'

'I figured it would be abandoned at this time of day.'

'Ah.'

'I know very well that we have only little time before Soul Society picks up my trail, and a special task force appears. So... I'll get to the point quickly.' he took a big breath, and his hand flied to his nape with a well-practiced move.

Rukia noticed the familiar signs of uneasiness on him, and it was hard to fight the building up concern.

'What is it?' she asked.

He smiled strained.

'I need your help with something... something big. And I'm sorry! So sorry! If there was anybody else... but I feel like you're the only one I can bare this with. Anyway... what I'm trying to tell you is, that I'm decided.'

He finished, and just looked at her. His orange eyes held hers firmly, trying to communicate the rest. A chill ran through Rukia's body.

'Decided?' she asked confused, and a little fearfully.

'Rukia. What I mean is that I want you to cleanse me.' he said simply, quite quietly.

Silence fell on them while she processed his request. Then...

'WHAT? YOU...YOU CALL ME HERE IN A DAMN FREAKING LETTER... ASKING ME THIS?'

She looked so enraged that he instinctively took a step back.

'Hey... hey! Isn't this the responsible thing to do? I mean... what else would you expect of me now? Geez!' he tried to reason.

'Responsible my ***...' she cursed, but then sighed, shaking her head. 'Why?'

'Orihime.' he replied firmly. 'She... she just can't go on with her life, while I'm around. No matter in what form. I must pass on completely to free her. Us being together like this just doesn't want to work out... it makes her suffer, no matter how hard I try.'

'Ichigo...' Rukia said, touched. Then she collected herself. 'But what I meant was: why me?'

'I know that you're the only person I can accept this from... and... you were the one originally giving me soul reaper powers...'

'So I must finish what I started?' she asked, feeling her eyes heat up. Damn those human-like tears were breaking her again!

'No. Of course you have a choice. But I'm asking you to do this. In memory of our friendship.'

Rukia shook her head, and the crystal clear drops flied in all direction.

'You don't know... how hard I would find your request!'

'I'm sorry.' he said sincerely.

'And Orihime... she'll be devastated.'

'Maybe for a while... but her friends will be beside her. You'll be able to tell her that it's all for the best.'

Rukia brushed her eyes clean, a new resolve hardening her features.

'Yes. And I'll tell her how her love saved you... because apparently it did.'

They smiled at each other.

As she watched his familiar, slightly sad and apologetic smile, Rukia thought about her Kaien-dono.

_'I'm not afraid any more... It will be different this time. I'm not defending myself right now. And I can see that it's really his wish... Thank you, Ichigo!'_ she thought.

Ichigo looked up to the night sky, giving the crescent of the moon above a silent farewell. He finally felt some peace inside him. At least his sufferings would be over soon. He would remember nothing to torment him, in only minutes. He only wished he could see Orihime one last time. But he knew that would be foolish, and would ruin everything. He was sure he wouldn't be able to go through with his plan, if he came close to her again. So he must settle for feeling out to touch her sweet spiritual pressure longingly. Even that brought on an ache so bad it made him kind of glad he finally found a way to be rid of it...

'Ready?' Rukia asked gently, studying him.

'Yes.'

Ichigo knelt down before her. She took her sword into her shaking hands. She lifted it before him, and he placed his hand on the blade, directing it's tip to where his heart should be. They looked at each other, both realizing that the move was almost the same as that very first move that made their fortunes to be intertwined...

'It was a pleasure knowing you, Rukia Kuchiki!'

'And you... Ichigo Kurosaki.'

He closed his eyes.

And right then, even though his name have changed now, it felt so right for her to address him like that. He though that at that moment, he had no other, no greater wish in the whole wide world than wishing he could be Ichigo Kurosaki again...

As soon as he thought this, his eyes snapped open.

Inside his mind, everything suddenly fell into place. Light glinted up the shadowy corners, and all became clear, enlightenment being born in an instant.

Rukia kept a firm hold on the handle of her sword, but didn't move. She was still waiting for a sign from him, as on that fateful night years ago. That time, it had been him who moved her blade first, and she wowed it would be just like that now. His hand suddenly gripped her sword more tightly. But didn't yank it forward. It stayed it. Rukia looked at him, and saw that his eyes were open, shock being mirrored in them.

The next moment he started cursing. She almost jumped it was so violent, and unexpected. Then just as abruptly as he started screaming in rage, he stopped. His voice when he spoke next was more calm, but utterly bitter.

'Of course. So painfully clear now. How have I failed to see this before...'

'Ichigo? What are you... I don't understand!'

'Everything... all of it... this was planned. Every suffering! Mine... my family's... my friends'... Orihime's every tear... It was all for this moment! So I would come to this realization. So neat... and inhumanly cruel! Like an experiment...'

'What...?'

Somebody started clapping behind their backs. They both turned to see Urahara standing there casually, striped hat, wooden sandals and everything.

'Congratulations! Never thought you had it in you...'

'Urahara...' Ichigo greeted darkly, releasing Rukia's sword, and standing up, facing the scientist with gritted teeth.

Urahara walked close to them, and studied Ichigo through narrowed, speculating eyes.

'Must say I would have been kind of disappointed if you hadn't figured this out. It would have been such a dull ending for you... This way, it's way more interesting... So... the question is... what will you do now?'

…...

'Orihime! Please! Not so fast!'

Uryu tried to plead. But Orihime just ran forward, not caring about her condition, about anything. She felt his presence, and also Rukia's... and it didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on. She knew Ichigo. She knew what he must have in mind. But she wouldn't let it happen! No! She just couldn't bare it! She won't loose him again! Not if she can help it!

Uryu looked at her set features and the determination shining in her eyes with an aching heart. He knew, that just like that time, he'll probably regret what he was about to propose.

'Orihime! Stop... I'll... I'll take you there by hirenkaru...'

She stopped. Her face was ashen colored, even after all the running. But she smiled a little smile of gratitude.

'Thank you, Uryu...'

…...

They arrived. Uryu put Orihime down, as gently as he could, and as soon as her feet touched the ground, she began running forward again. She spotted a figure sitting on the floor, alone, being hunched up.

'Rukia! Rukia!' Orihime cried desperately.

The soul reaper raised her head. Her expression was lost, broken, confused. Tear-stains ran down from her eyes. Orihime felt her heart break.

'No! Rukia! Please! Where is Ichigo! Rukia!'

It took a moment before she answered. Orihime and Uryu could see her fighting the confusion and hurt inside her, and this simply broke Orihime's heart. She dreaded the answer she was about to hear. _'It's too late...'_ an inner voice whispered to her.

'In Soul Society...' Rukia finally said.

Orihime fell down to her knees next to her.

'No!' she moaned. 'That just... can't be!'

Rukia lifted her eyes to her, her violet orbs suddenly clearing out.

'Yes, he is in Soul Society... but I didn't send him.'

Uryu tensed hearing this.

'What do you mean?' he asked sharply.

'What she means my good Quincy...' Urahara said, once again appearing behind their backs. '… is that Ichigo went to Soul Society still being a hollow. And the one who let him go was me.'

'Urahara!' Uryu cried, looking at the shopkeeper as though he had lost it. 'What are you saying?'

'And I suggest you go after him as soon as possible, if you feel like it...' Urahara added. 'I already called Sado-kun too. You must decide.'

'Decide what?' Uryu asked, baffled.

Urahara turned to Orihime.

'How are you feeling? Are you up to the journey?'

She stood up straight.

'Tell me what to do, Urahara-san!'

'Orihime!' Rukia suddenly exclaimed looking at her wide eyed.

She smiled back sadly, putting a hand over her now exposed, rounding belly protectively.

'Yes... it's true. I'm going to have a baby... his baby. And he doesn't even know.'

…...

_A/N: Hope everything is as clear as I would expect it to be at this point. What do you expect will happen now? What's Ichigo's big discovery? Why did he go to Soul Society? **Please review**, I desperately want to know your thoughts! (I will answer questions, unless they are plot-spoilers.)_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

'No... no! This is finally too much! I can't take it!'

'Unfortunately sulking about it won't help.'

'Arisawa-san...'

Upon hearing her voice Uryu turned back sharply from the dark corner inside one of Urahara's store-rooms, where he had been standing alone, immersed in his own thoughts. He never even realized he had been talking aloud. He tried to gather his cool facade back, and gave her a small smile.

'I guess you felt that something was going on...'

Tatsuki smiled back.

'Yes. But it also helped that I accidentally run into Chad on the street, when he was on his way here.'

'I see.' Uryu said, his eyes falling to the ground.

Tatsuki leaned casually against the door-frame, eyeing the quincy carefully.

'I wish I could go with Orihime, but Urahara won't let me... stupid, big-headed shopkeeper! Would so like to acquaint his sandals with his mouth one day...' she fumed half-heartedly. Even she knew that she hadn't got enough spiritual power to cope with the journey.

'So you support her?' Uryu asked, with a little surprise in his voice.

'I don't approve, of course, but what can I do? I do support her... I support them...' Her eyes narrowed as she asked: 'What will YOU do?'

Uryu closed his eyes briefly before giving his answer.

'I wish I knew...'

'Oh come on!' Tatsuki snapped. 'This is not like you!'

He nodded, with a sad smile, then lifted his head to look at the girl directly.

'I shouldn't go.' he stated, trying to sound firm. 'I have no business in Soul Society. I am a quincy! I simply can't help a hollow! And Orihime doesn't listen to me AT ALL. So what's the point?'

Tatsuki sighed.

'Well, if you feel that way... it's ok. I understand.' she wanted to turn, and walk away, but he stopped her.

'Wait. No. That's how I SHOULD feel...'

Tatsuki turned back, and her smile was now a grin.

'I figured it was like that!'

…...

Throughout Seretei, the alarm bells were ringing loudly. Toushiro Hitsugaya rushed forward, closely followed by his lieutenant. They were following the clear trail of destruction: burning and smoking buildings everywhere. Black and white robbed figures were moving among the ruins, like disturbed ants. Far away they saw flashes of light, and heard some explosions, that indicated an ongoing battle.

Toushiro stopped on top of a wall that still stood, and spoke briefly the soul reapers working on collecting their valuables from among all the debris. They told him that the attack was quick, they had no warning, and that all the destruction was the work of a SINGLE hollow.

'… freaked me out of my whits!' one low ranking soul reaper admitted. 'Never saw anything like it! It had human form, yet... it was just so horrible! That mask! I think I'll have nightmares for a month!'

Toushiro sighed impatiently.

'Any victims?' he asked seriously.

'No. Just the buildings.'

Toushiro's brows wrinkled. He didn't understand. What did this hollow want, running-amok Seretei like that? Beckoning Matsumoto to follow, he started going again, even faster than before.

It didn't take long before their well practiced flash-steps took them within seeing range of the fights. Toushiro stopped again, his eyes locked to the figure standing in the middle of a clearing-up smoke-ring.

'Captain! Do you see that?' Rangiku asked.

'I certainly do. An arrancar... And this feeling... I don't really know what is it, but it gives me the creeps. Like it's...'

'Familiar.' Rangiku finished for him.

Toushiro looked at his lieutenant searchingly. That had exactly been the term on his mind. The arrancar before them just showed some troops out of his way with his bare hands, like they were leaves he could sweep with a broom. The poor men flew back, landing being scattered everywhere, with moans of pain. They would have bruises, but nothing worse. The arrancar just stepped over them, not even spearing a second glance.

Toushiro grabbed his sword's handle tightly, and rushed forward.

'Stop!' he cried to the back of the arrancar.

He did. The masked head turned slowly, intense orange eyes shining out form the slits of eyes. Then the monster spoke. His voice was hoarse, reverberating, but quite clear to understand.

'Toushiro.'

The shock of hearing his own name so casually slip out from this monster's mouth made the Captain stop. And before he could even think, the monster vanished from before his eyes, with a sonido so fast his eyes couldn't keep track of it, and the next moment he felt two arms grab him from behind.

Rangiku screamed _'Captain!'_, and called her zanpakuto into action, but there was nothing she could do. Another sonido made her Captain vanish, along with the monster.

Toushiro landed on the ground, when the monster released him. They were now in an abandoned area, that separated squad 2's and squad 4's barracks. He stood up, being angry at himself. He looked up quickly, but the arrancar just stood above him, not doing anything.

'Toushiro.' he repeated. 'I'm glad we can talk.'

'Who are you? And what do you want?' the Captain asked through barred teeth.

'Don't you recognize me?' the other asked, lifting a hand before his face. To the Captain's utter horror, he slowly lifted the ugly horned mask from his face, setting it on top of his head.

And now he did recognize him. How could he not? His eyes widened for a second, before his mouth pressed together firmly into a bitter line.

'Kurosaki!'

The man before him half-grinned, though it was evident he wasn't really amused.

'Close enough. Now listen closely. I have no intention of fighting you. And neither anybody else for that matter.'

Toushiro scowled.

'Then what do you want? Orihime Inoue is not here... she's in the World of the Living. Or so I've heard...'

'I know that, but it's here that I have business. If you let me pass peacefully, I will hurt no-one. I want you to pass this message along to everybody.'

Toushiro have now stood up again, lifting Hyorimaru, and contemplating his next move.

'You have got to be kidding! You can't expect us to just step aside, when you attack like that! I'll ask again: what is it that you want?'

'Information. And I will have it, no matter what!'

'Information? From where? From whom? Hey! Come back, Kurosaki!' Toushiro cried, but Ichigo was already on his way forward, and didn't even look back.

'Was it really who I think it was?' Rangiku asked, arriving next to her Captain.

Toushiro sighed.

'Yeah. We're in trouble, I guess...'

…...

While Orihime sat on top of her Santen Kesshun shield, that took her conveniently across the dangai, her thoughts were quite disjointed. She choose this method of traveling because being close to the end of the seventh mouth of her pregnancy, she trusted her spiritual power more than her physical...

_'It's all right...'_ she thought, giving her belly a gentle caress. _'Don't worry... Mommy's just a little an__x__ious, that's all.__'_

She could feel her baby moving inside, giving her generous kicks. The little Darling must have felt her mood-swings form the last hours...

_'__But everything's going to be all right now... I promise. __We'll find your Daddy, and then...' _

But unfortunately she had no real idea about what would happen then. Her eyes began stinging, and she had to fight back the coming tears.

_'Well, anyway...'_ she tried to collect herself, quickly brushing her eyes clean, before either Uryu-kun, Rukia-chan or Sado-kun, who were running next to her would notice. _'… we've already been through a lot, you and I. I'm sorry about that. I know it's unfair to you, but there was nothing I could do. I'm sure we'll think of something to make everything right! Agreed?' _

Another kick right in the middle of her belly answered her, and it made her smile.

_'Remember how badly we freaked out poor Isshin-san, when I told her I thought you were on the way?'_ she mused cheerfully, but then her smile vanished, and another kick (this time to one of her ribs) made her realize, that thinking back to that particular morning, when she woke up unexpectedly in the Kurosaki Clinic instead of Hueco Mundo was a delicate subject, and probably not a very vise thing to do in her current state... If Isshin hadn't been there to console her, she was sure she wouldn't have been able to cope with her misery. After recovering from his shock, the doctor had been able to prove her suspicion right.

_'But my dear child! Did you tell him?' _Isshin had asked.

_'No... I couldn't be sure yet, and didn't want to bother him needlessly. And also... I was a little afraid of what his reaction would be... Oh... what will I do now?'_

_'One thing's for sure!' _Isshin had said firmly, with a scowl._ 'I promised I would look after you, and I swear I will! You're staying here!' _

So, she had been living in the Kurosaki Clinic ever since her return to the World of the Living. No matter how she had argued that she was a burden, and imposing on them, Isshin wouldn't hear of any other arrangement. He spoke of the coming baby as his grandchild, and considered her his third daughter, and she had been treated with every possible kindness from his part, and also from Yuzu and Karin (even though neither of the twins were acquainted with the full truth about her baby...). She was grateful, for during the months she had so abruptly disappeared to Hueco Mundo, she had lost not only her former job, but also her apartment, which her landlady decided to give to another. Without help, she really didn't know what she would have done... Isshin had given her Ichigo's old room, which was a little weird, but she had been utterly grateful for it. It was now decorated with colorful pictures, a yet-to-be constructed cot was standing in a corner in it's brand new wrappings, and a duffel bag in a corner held the few baby-clothing and stuff Orihime had managed to collect cheaply over the months. When she was alone, she liked to spread the little rompers and shirts out on her bed, and look at them until her eyes filled with happy tears. She continually reminded herself, that she shouldn't feel alone. Even if she couldn't be beside Ichigo now, he had given her a wonderful gift: a new life growing inside her, someone she could look after, someone she was responsible for. She would never be alone again...

Before Neliel had come to her with her warning, she had been on the verge of finally accepting that Ichigo would never come back for her... for them. She tried hard to convince herself that this was the truth of things, because this grim, painful finality was somehow more bearable to her now than insecurity, than not knowing what to believe... With each passing day, her interest in planning the real life she was forced to live was growing stronger. Her motherly hormones were ruling over her wounded heart. Isshin had let her do all the works of a nurse in the Clinic for him that he didn't think was contra-indicated in her condition. That had been a huge factor in helping her keep her morale. Isshin had even suggested that he could get used to this arrangement on a more permanent base, and he expressed his wish, that Orihime would decide to continue living with them after the baby was born. So she now had vague plans about continuing her studies to become a nurse. She enjoyed being able to help others.

But now all of those plans crumbled down, and seemed insignificant, as she could only concentrate on one thing. While they waited for Urahara to open the senkaimon, Rukia had told her everything that she and Ichigo had spoken about. And what she had learned convinced her, that Ichigo didn't forget her over the months... He still needed her, wanted her the same as before. And no matter how he argued that he had lost his heart to feel with, to her this proved that he never ceased to love her. These last months, he had kept himself away from her BECAUSE he loved her, and wanted her safe. She had known this already, deep down, but the doubt had always been there, tearing at her poor heart. Now she had proof to console her, and this brought on a feeling so warm, a feeling so "whole"...

She needed him in her life, no matter how. She was ready to give up everything for him again... She knew that part of the trouble was that her presence in his hollow-life continually made him realize how much he had lost... That must be terrible, and she was devastated by it. But she would find him now, and show him, that while much had been lost, much still remained... Their LOVE prevailed. A love that was so strong, it could bring new life even from death.

She would show him...

They would show him...

Because no-one, not Isshin-san, not Urahara-san, not Sado-kun, not even the strict Uryu-kun could detect the slightest trace of hollowish reiatsu from the little baby inside her womb. This must be a miracle.

Amidst her thoughts, Orihime realized that the senkaimon exit was in sight, so she braced herself for the final steps of the journey, refocusing her attention on her shield. Rukia, Chad and Uryu doubled their pace next to her, and in seconds they were out. Of course the exit was high in the sky again, but this surprised no-one any more. Each of them landed safely, in their own style.

'Oh for kami's sake!' Uryu cursed. 'The whole place is practically reeking of his insane reiatsu!'

Orihime could of course feel Ichigo's spiritual pressure better than anyone.

'I guess he must be a little over-excited...' she tried to defend him.

'Lost his mind more likely... Look over there!'

Uryu pointed to the smoking buildings before them. Rukia sighed.

'Well let's hurry. That's clearly the way we're supposed to go. Let's catch him, before he does even more damage! The Idiot!'

Chad and Rukia started going, but when Orihime wanted to follow, Uryu suddenly caught her arm, and held her back.

'Orihime. Please! One word.'

She dropped her eyes to the ground, to hide the sadness in them.

'Uryu-kun... I know you've come against your better judgment. And... I can't express how grateful I am.'

Uryu lifted a hand to silence her thanks.

'Yes. I did come against my better judgment. But I'm willing to help. Under one condition... I made a promise to your friend, Arisawa-san. That's why... you must promise me to come back. No matter what happens. No matter what you gain, or what you lose. Just come back...'

Orihime's eyes filled with tears of being deeply touched.

'Thank you... I promise I will...'

She only added privately: _'But I can't promise that by "back" we mean the same thing...'_

…...

The two guards were in the middle of their daily chess-game. It was something they did to kill the time. Their superior had punished them before for drinking sake on duty, so now this was what they did instead...

'Hey, look! Looks like SOME fortunate chaps got to have some fighting today...' one of the guards, the tall one, with tattoos on his biceps said. 'It must be ages since I last had the chance to release my zanpakuto for anything else than training! I'm bored! Wish they would come this way!'

'Like that's ever gonna happen!' his companion, a sturdy, broad-shouldered man, with his long hair tied back in a ponytail said. 'You know, I'm beginning to think that ours is the most boring job ever! And I thought that joining squad 11 meant some excitement!'

The tattooed man stood up, and his eyes searched the distance.

'Although... the explosions DO seem to get closer... You know, maybe this will be our lucky day after all!' Suddenly the man's face twisted into a broad grin. 'How about I go and do a little peeking around? I want to know what's going on! It wouldn't hurt anyone, if the boss won't know...' He turned back to his companion, but the pony tailed soul reaper only stared off into space, and didn't answer. 'Hey! Kichida! Are you listening?'

'Something's coming...' Kichida answered while his hand began to slowly move towards the handle of his zanpakuto.

His comarade only looked at him dumbly, contemplating whether Kichida was joking. But before he could reach his answer, he suddenly found himself knocked to the ground from the back, by a forceful surprise attack.

'Takeda!' the others frightened voice shouted. But this was all he could manage, before receiving a blast too.

Lying face down in the dirt, they heard a strange voice mutter something, and heard an explosion. When they lifted their heads, they saw that the gate they were supposed to guard was blasted in, and a figure stood before it, raising a rather big, cleaver shaped sword.

'What the...' Kichida said.

The figure payed them no attention, but lowered his sword, and began moving forward.

'Hey! Wait!' Takeda shouted, gathering himself, and standing up again. 'What's the big idea! Can't let you just walk past us like that! And anyway... Are you out of your mind? I... I thought the custom was to break OUT of a prison! Not INTO it! Hey!'

Suddenly the figure turned, and the guard could now see the two chilling orange eyes shine out from under the horrible mask. His tongue became tied at once. He could only gawk.

Under the mask, Ichigo sighed impatiently... But there was also a little sadness mingled in it. He knew from the look on the soul reaper's face, that his mere glance was enough to break the courage in him for the time being, and by the time poor man gathered his balls back, he would be long out of his reach. And anyway... anything thrown at him from a soul reaper of this level would probably only tickle.

He guessed it was pretty ironic, considering whom he was about to confront, that he now had the chance to experience first hand how it felt: to stand on a very different level than others...

...

_A/N: If you could review... Please!_


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

'The explosions have stopped...'

'Yeah... and I can no longer feel any new reiatsu-outburst.'

'Do you think that means he's calmed down?'

Rukia's violet eyes were filled with worry.

'I seriously doubt it.' Uryu answered, looking at Chad searchingly. 'Can you feel him, Sado? I don't wish for him to continue raging, but up till now, at least we knew which way to go... Where could you have disappeared to so suddenly, Kurosaki?'

Chad squinted his eyes looking ahead.

'Let's go that way.' he said simply.

Rukia and Uryu exchanged puzzled looks.

'That way?' Rukia asked tentatively.

'Yeah. Inoue-san went that way, so that's ok.'

Both Rukia and Uryu jumped. They quickly looked in the direction appointed by Chad, and indeed saw some long brown hair swinging in the distance.

'Orihime! Hey! Wait up!' they cried in union.

But judging from the faint yellow light, and her speed, Orihime had her shield out again, and she seemingly had no intention of stopping, or slowing down to wait for them.

'I guess she must still feel him all right...' Rukia said with a disapproving frown.

…...

The corridors got darker and darker. The few unsuspecting guards he met were no challenge. The rough, unchanging stone walls surrounding him more so. This place was like a fucking underground labyrinth! Good thing his hollow senses guided him right even with only little light. After all, it was enough for a map that he knew the spiritual pressure he was searching for. He would have recognized it, had it been under even more kido-spells then right now. Finding the way out would be more troublesome, but he didn't worry about that at the moment.

At the very lowest level of the dungeon, he finally came to a door, that was guarded by four white robbed soldiers, and knew he has reached his goal. He contemplated whether or not to call out his mask again, just to make the work quicker. He decided against it in the end... Though pretty sure he would be able to keep himself focused this time, he couldn't afford any mistakes. Not being so close to his goal.

So, he only took Zangetsu in his hands, as he approached the already nervous looking guards. They must have sensed some disturbance, or received some news of trouble. The fight lasted a few minutes, because there was little room to move, and Ichigo still tried to go for only disarming and knocking out, instead of taking lives. Before coming to Soul Society, he had promised to himself he wouldn't hurt anyone, save the one behind this door...

It seemed the guards were best trained in kido, but the restrictive spells they shoot at him weren't able to bind, and the destructive spells did no great damage, apart from burning his robes here and there. Finally Ichigo managed to knock two out, injure one badly enough that he couldn't continue the fight, and break the blade of the fourth, who ran away with a scared face, though swearing he'd return with reinforcements.

Before opening the door – the keys he took from the injured guard – he gave a few seconds for calming himself down. He knew that the real "battle" would began now... He only proceeded when he was sure that his head was clear, and his resolution firm. The room behind the door was just as poorly lit as the corridors outside. He couldn't see much. The air inside was damp and stale. He went a step forward, and squinted his eyes instinctively: the light of the single lamp inside was shining right into his face now.

'So... you've finally made it here.' a voice said from the shadows. It didn't sound surprised, or angry at all. On the contrary, it sounded calm and satisfied. Ichigo stepped aside from the light's range. The seat to which the prisoner was tied was right at the far end of the room. His face was half hidden behind the bandages, but the one eye which shone out still conveyed power and confidence.

'Aizen.'

The tied up man's mouth formed a small, taunting smile. The two studied each other, orange eyes staring into slightly purple tinted blue.

'How interesting... your eyes are strange and wild, but the rest of you is more normal than I expected...' Aizen noted.

Ichigo remained silent, his mouth pressing together in a thin line.

'Well, aren't you going to attack? See? I'm unarmed, and tied up. Are you just going to stand there, Ichigo Kurosaki, or are you going to take what you've come here for?' Aizen began the taunting.

Ichigo narrowed his eyes, and his grip tightened on Zangetsu.

'Oh, don't worry... I'm going to take it out of your body, while I'm tearing it up to pieces... slowly...'

'How pretentious of you!' Aizen laughed.

'Come on, Aizen... quit pretending, and face me properly!' Ichigo said, his voice low with the pressure of holding back his anger.

The laughing ceased, only a grin remained on the former soul reaper Captain's face.

'As you wish.' Aizen slowly stood up, the visible bindings just falling uselessly to the floor from around him. 'Should have known... a hollow, and still the same forwardness. Kurosaki, who'd never attack a tied up man. Or is it Shirosaki now?'

'Whichever...'

The two now stood face to face, tension and readiness visible in both their stances, but still neither of them moved.

'Still not attacking?' Aizen asked, amused.

'I need you to answer a question first.'

'A question?'

'Yes.' Ichigo's body was shaking now. His hollow instincts were dangerously close to the surface, telling him to just tear, rip, think his teeth into the enemy, claw out his guts and devour him, until only the bones remain... 'I need you to tell me... I need to understand! Why?'

The smile disappeared from Aizen's face, giving place to seriousness.

'You are here. I thought that meant you knew why.'

Ichigo shook his head.

'No I don't. I only recognized your pattern in everything, and knew that you were the one behind it all. It was all part of some dumbass plan! You had my substitute badge stolen form me, and sent a fairly strong hollow to take me. All this in order for me to some day turn out like this. Then you had me lured into the World of the Living, and had a hollow attack Orihime, so that I would see her again. Nobody else works like this. Pulling the strings, then waiting patiently for the result.'

Aizen snickered.

'Quite an achievement from prison, don't you think?'

'Why? All this to have me come here, hoping I have the power to free you?'

'No. Of course not. Can't you see? I'm content with my current situation here. Luckily, during our last fight, you have provided me with much useful information to think about, and occupy my lonely hours with, so I'm not the least uncomfortable. A true scientist can work and plan anywhere. I must add, that I could break out of here real easy on my own, any time I want. It's just the ignorant Soul Reapers who think they hold power over me...'

'Then what do you want?'

'I need your help with something much greater. You see, I have a problem.'

'And it involves the hogyoku...'

A flash of appreciation came from Aizen's eyes.

'Yes. The hogyoku. Always known you were a kindred spirit, deep down, that's why you were the perfect choice to be the subject of my studies. But there was a little flaw in my plans, that I now need to mend. Flaws tend to occur, but they can be overcome with patience. I needed you to come here, to settle this once and for all. For this, I put you in a situation, where you would recognize that your only chance of regaining your former self was the hogyoku. Yes, the hogyoku, which would be able to grant your heart's desire, even if it meant overcoming boundaries normally unbreachable... I used Orihime Inoue as an incentive again – isn't that ironic? And she worked just as well as before! I knew you would react to her presence, that connection you have with her goes too deep for ignorance.'

'This, I already understood.' Ichigo answered, restraining his furry with difficulty. 'You're just as pompous and lecturing as always. But why would you need me to take the hogyoku?'

'Ah, that's the question now, isn't it? All right. I'll explain. The hogyoku is still inside my body, connected with me. After spending years like this I can safely say that I finally know more of it's true nature than anybody else... even Urahara Kisuke. But even though it's still inside me, the hogyoku doesn't recognize me as it's master any more. You truly have conquered me that day, but not with your powers. You had me waver for a second, while you remained firm. That one second settled it all.

But you also made a mistake. You could have ended it all that day. The hogyoku would have been yours, had you - in your soul – expressed the merest desire for it. It would have abandoned me instantly, had you only called for it. But you didn't. You didn't want it then. The hogyoku remained inside me, but it no longer can give me it's full power.

That's why I had to work so hard to call you here, and it was an essential point to have you come with a burning desire to get the hogyoku! I want you to call for it now! It will surely respond to you. Call it forth, so that it would come out of it's dormant state, and start searching for it's master again... only then can I attempt to win it's alliance back.'

…...

Orihime reached the gate of the underground prison. She dissolved her shield, and entered on foot, her resolution as firm as ever. Though she couldn't feel any trace of reiatsu indicating a battle, something told her she had better hurry... The silence in the spiritual pressure waves seemed more ominous than the previous chaos. Her instincts warned her that something was going on, and that if she didn't reach Ichigo soon, she might be too late.

She was inside the dark corridors now. She could hear footsteps hurrying, and confused shouts in the distance. She was slowly drawing near the sounds. She saw some light ahead, and quickly hid herself in the shadows of a doorway. Guards were running her way, with lit torches.

_'What should I do? It's no good... they will surely see me, if they get close...'_

The answer came to her a second later, and she called upon her powers once again, sending her fairies out ahead of herself. S'huno and Baigon did a great job, flying right in the guards face, saying 'Boo!', while Hinagiku pulled at one of their hairs, and Lily cheekily struck out her tongue... The four of them successfully managed to confuse, and make the guards turn back and chase after them, leaving the corridor free for Orihime to progress. Though that meant she was temporarily left with only her attacking power to use.

She very nearly used Tsubaki too, being much freaked out by a sudden touch on the shoulder from behind. But thankfully, when she turned, she only saw Sado-kun's familiar, comfortingly cool features and deep brown eyes stare at her. Uryu and Rukia-chan were right behind him.

'So this is the place... always wondered...' Uryu mused. 'But I thought it would be more heavily guarded!'

'I guess it was... originally!' Rukia pointed out, showing them a broken spear and a thorn cloth-piece that must have belonged to someone's uniform, with stains on it that could only be blood.

Chad put up a hand to silence them. New, hurried footsteps could be heard, this time coming from their back.

'They must have sent for reinforcements.' Chad noted.

'What do we do?' Rukia asked.

An uneasy light was shining in Orihime's eyes. But right on time, her fairies were returning to her. She smiled at them relieved, in greeting.

'What ever it is that Ichigo's trying to do...' she answered Rukia. 'I guess he must need some time. I want to go to him, but we must stop these troops first... I'm gonna fight!'

Uryu frowned. Orihime tried to catch his eye, but he turned to Chad first instead.

'Sado-kun... take her forward.' he said calmly. Then he faced Orihime. 'If it's time you want, I can give that to you.'

'What are you planning, quincy?' Rukia asked uneasily.

'I will make it so that no-one would be able to come through, either in or out for a while.'

'… a cave in?'

Uryu nodded.

'It's the best solution to avoid more needless fight...'

Rukia sighed.

'All right. Then I'll stay with you. You'll gonna be in trouble alone. Maybe I can play the "Kuchiki-princess" card... ' Then she too turned to Orihime. 'Go... and don't look back.'

The two women smiled briefly at each other, but Orihime's whispered "thank you" was lost in the sounds made by the dangerously approaching guards. Chad seized her elbow, and began steering her forward hurriedly. Uryu waited for them to clear the corridor before conjuring his bow, and putting a carefully measured arrow to the string, aiming at the ceiling...

Orihime and Chad only heard the explosion, and felt the sudden rush of wind, that brought bits of debris and dust with it. They didn't stop, only looked at each other briefly in the dim light. They didn't run into any more guards on the lower levels, so they could proceed freely. After some time Orihime realized, that her heart was beating too painfully for normal, and she had to stop a little, supporting herself against the rough stone wall.

'Inoue-san...'

'I'm all right!' she assured her companion quickly, while catching her breath.

Chad nodded, and he too leaned against the wall, waiting for her patiently to recover her strength.

'We must be close now...' he noted after a minute's silence. 'I can feel it.'

Orihime looked at Chad's concentrating face. Her heart-rate was almost normal again, but what troubbled her was, that no matter how she tried to concentrate, she couldn't feel any movement from the baby inside her. She guessed this was only to be expected: the poor little thing must be terrified right now, and tried to imagine what sensations were able to reach him or her from the commotion of the outside world, and from her own body that was being over-pushed with physical and emotional stress.

Was it really all right for her to be here right now? Was it really the only solution? Was it a responsible thing to do? Whom should she try to protect more? Her love or their baby? After all, there was a limit to what she could do, being as she currently was... and she was feeling that limit quite keenly right now! Feeling it in the way her body seemed feverishly hot, her head was slightly spinning, and her muscles were reluctant to move.

'Can you go on now?' Sado-kun suddenly asked, interrupting her troubled thoughts.

'Yes.' she answered, but then changed her mind, and called her friend back. 'Sado-kun... I... I'm so nervous. I don't know what I can do... I'm all thorn! One minute I just feel like all I have to do is reach him, be beside him again to make everything right... then I realize it's probably not going to be that easy. I'm afraid. Being beside him is all I can do... But... will it be enough?'

Chad looked at her closely.

'Urahara-san said that Ichigo might need some fresh reminder of his human side. If Urahara-san was right about this, which I'm sure he was, then being beside him is the ONLY thing that helps. That's why we're here.'

Orihime nodded, with a grateful smile. She found fresh strength in the gentle giant's reassurance.

_'That's right... only a little more...'_ she thought.

…...

Ichigo tried to keep his anger and frustration in check best he could, while contemplating the best course of action. He had really come here with the firm desire of taking the hogyoku. And that was exactly what Aizen wanted from him. So, what would happen now, if he really reached out for the cursed thing?

Aizen did nothing, only stood opposite him, waiting, with a mildly amused expression. Oh yes, he was enjoying this, Ichigo could see that, and it only added fuel to the fire of his rage. Maybe his human side had once understood the others motives, and even felt some compassion towards him, but the passionate hollow side could never forgive! Not his past crimes, and even less so the current ones. Finally winning the hogyoku from him completely, against his will would be the best imaginable punishment for him. So Ichigo felt confident: he would not lose this! There was no way he could lose with such determination! His every wish – the wishes of both his human and hollow side – were leading him in this direction, setting his every willpower upon achieving this goal. There was just no way to conquer such firmness. How Aizen planned to out-win him this time was beside him. The scientist must have misjudged something...

As he was standing there, thinking, Ichigo suddenly became aware of some noises, and motion from behind him. He half turned instinctively to see what it was. Aizen moved forward in the same moment, surprising him with doing nothing more than grabbing his wrist firmly.

Orihime stepped into the room at that moment, closely followed by Chad. She saw Aizen move, and take hold of Ichigo with his left hand, but she also saw his sneaking right, holding something, moving towards the middle of Ichigo's chest... Orihime's eyes widened in recognition.

'Caya Negation!' she whispered, throwing herself forward. Her searching fingers found Ichigo's other wrist just in time, and closed around it securely. She hardly heard Sado-kun's frightened and confused cries right behind her, as she was suddenly experiencing a squeezing sensation from all directions, and was being pulled into darkness...

...

_A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger again! I really hope I managed to create the right tension here. As I already told you before, I was uncertain about this story's precise outcome at the beginning. Actually, I had more than one ending figured out. How would you feel, if I would write more versions, so you could chose what suites you the best? Is this idea weird? (This is more or less the point from where the alternate endings would vary. There is at least one more version, apart from which I'm currently working on, which interests me greatly.) _

_I do hope that whatever ending I might chose to write, it won't end with all of you wishing to strangle me... Though I did receive a threat of "hunting me down" because of the slowness of updates! :-)_

_Please review, and tell me what you think of this chapter!_

_(side note: Should any Harry Potter fans be here... Yeah, I'm aware that the hogyoku is not the Elder wand. It's just that this setup so fits here. I'm a shameless idea-stealer! J. K. Rowling is the mastermind, her humble fan is just stealing...)_


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: Everyone, it made me so happy to receive your impatient reviews, requesting updates! :-) That tells me you enjoy this story. Thank you!_

_This may come as a surprise (it was to me) but this chapter is actually the last one, if I don't count the epilogue I'm planning. _

_I hope it doesn't disappoint._

_Enjoy!_

_(Side note: didn't have time for much reading-through, I'm already as tired as hell, and I don't know when I'll have time again. So please excuse the mistakes and stuff.)_

_Chapter 12_

'What a surprise! I forgot that you were already familiar with this technique, Orihime Inoue!' Aizen's voice was firm and confident, even after their unusual journey. All around them was only black emptiness, like they were out in starless space, but somehow their feet were able to find solid ground. Aizen released Ichigo's hand, and stepped back, looking at the pair intently. 'Grimmjaw used his Caja Negation before you on Ulquiorra, didn't he?'

'Orihime!' Ichigo choked, looking down on her face stupidly, as though not wanting to believe his own eyes. After making up his mind that the girl must really be there, he yanked her forward, pressing her body protectively close to his own, while returning his eyes wearily at Aizen.

'It was supposed to be only the two of us, but maybe it will be more interesting like this.' Aizen continued, unshaken.

'Stay out of this, Orihime!' Ichigo ordered strictly, wanting to step forward.

Aizen snickered.

'Oh, she can't, Kurosaki. That's what makes it sweet! Once you call forth the hogyoku, it will choose the one among us, with the strongest will to be it's new master. It's as simple as that. She can't "stay out"...'

Ichigo looked down on Orihime's scared face.

'The hogyoku? I don't understand.' she whispered.

'It's rather simple, my dear! Let me enlighten you!' Aizen offered, with a casual air, that made Orihime vaguely think of a school teacher. 'I guess you know by now what the hogyoku does, what it's true power is. It can take in your heart, and make the desires in it come true. So, tell me... just how much do you want him to return to being human?' Aizen asked her, leering.

Orihime's eyes widened. So that was why Ichigo had come here! He wanted to become human again for her sake. Using the hogyoku's power! Could it be true? Was it even possible? The thing she desired more than anything in this world, but dared not even voice inside her head until now... She looked at Ichigo questioningly, and saw doubt and worry in his features.

Aizen started laughing.

'Ah, it will be almost too easy now! A child's play! I can already see it played out. Thank you, Orihime! My victory was ensured the moment you decided to follow us here! Kurosaki will be divided in spirit because of his worry for you, and you likewise won't be able to give all your heart into your wish. Would you really try reaching out for the hogyoku, fearing what it might do to your unborn child?'

Ichigo's body strained, like he had received an electric-shock.

'What?'

He released Orihime, and stepped back, to take a better look at her (her whole body this time). And really, the signs were unmistakable... He was gawking, while she averted her eyes, and blushed.

'How?... What?... Orihime!'

'It's true... I only found out after you... I mean after we parted...'

Ichigo looked at her long, being totally silent. His eyes were round, and became more and more dark with every minute, the wild orange fading. Orihime started to become concerned for him: this was no time to space out, not with Aizen right there next to them. But Aizen did nothing, and let them have their time.

Finally Ichigo moved, slowly and gently pulling her into an embrace.

'I'm sorry, Orihime... I'm so sorry! I... I wanted to protect you! Keep you safe... That's why I left you.'

'I know.' she answered quietly.

'Must say this is an interesting phenomena in itself... would worth some looking into. A human conceiving of a hollow!' Aizen noted indifferently. 'And by the feel of it, conceiving a living, full-human baby. Interesting!'

Ichigo only sent him a murderous look before turning back to Orihime.

'It's gonna be all right... trust me. I'll surely win this. And then, we can finally be together... as we should be.'

Orihime didn't meet his eyes.

'Ichigo... I want you to know that you don't have to do this... not for me. Either way, I accept you. It's fine, as long as I can be beside you... As long as you can accept... us.'

Something akin to pain flashed through Ichigo's chest. Seeing Orihime's cast down eyes, hearing her slightly broken voice, he realized how much she must have suffered.

'I'm afraid it's already too late to step 's exactly why I chose to seal us away from the outside world with the caja negation. I knew it would go faster like this.' Aizen noted calmly. 'See this?' he asked from Ichigo. An eeri light was starting to glow around him. 'The hogyoku feels your closeness. It's reaction had began! Brace yourselves, for we stand on the brink of destiny!' he declared dramatically.

The light shone more and more brightly, bathing the ugly chamber in pure golden colors right to the last corner. Energy-rays danced across Aizen's greedy face, as he looked before him, at the spot where all the light seemed to gather and condense.

'Yes, yes! Finally! I've been waiting too long... almost complete!'

The temperature in the room began to raise rapidly, all the gathering energy heating up the air. Orihime soon found herself panting and gasping. It seemed to her like there wasn't enough oxygen in he air any more.

'Not good...' she managed to whisper.

Ichigo took a step forward, shielding her from the source of the radiating power with his body. This whole mess was his responsibility, he had to deal with it. He didn't know what he had to do, but felt that the time to act was close. His best guess was just reaching out, and taking the hogyoku, as soon as it materialized physically. But when he tried to advance forward, he realized that this wouldn't be that easy to do.

The whole room around them started to resemble Hell's deepest pit. The heat was almost unbearable, and it only increased with every inch he moved forward. The light hurt his eyes, he had to close them. He could feel the pull though, the pull of the hogyoku, and it's ominous power. He felt it close. He would have it. He wanted it... he needed it... nothing else would work. He needed to put things right, and this was the only way. He felt that his will was strong.

He reached out for it... Not only with his hands, stubbornly ignoring the pain in his fingers that felt like they were aflame, but with his mind also.

He called it. Called it to him. And felt it stir in response...

Almost there... he could almost feel the little globe, that was the physical manifestation of all this power, inside his grasp. But then, he felt it pull away from him...

No! This was unacceptable! This simply couldn't be! He couldn't let it! He had to have the hogyoku! He couldn't let Aizen take it!

But... was it Aizen?

The heat retreated, and he squinted his eyes tentatively, trying to see past the still blazing light. He saw a hand before him. A small hand, clutching something in it's fist.

Movement caught his eye to the side, and when he looked, he saw a body fall to the ground.

Aizen. He had been knocked out somehow. And right behind him, Orihime was also stumbling, and falling down. But then... who was the one before him? Who's was this strongest, purest, most unshakable, not wavering will, that he was able to feel take hold of the hogyoku, right from before him?

The light slowly faded away, no longer hurting his eyes. He could look now.

There before him stood a young girl.

He was sure he had never seen this girl before, yet she seemed familiar.

'Hi.' she greeted, in a soft voice, that sounded nice and musical to his ears.

His hand, that was still raised out before himself fell down limply to his side as he stared with wonder. For some reason he had to swallow hard before asking:

'Who are you?'

He noticed that she had orange hair. Exactly the same color as his. She wore it short, in a way that reminded him of Tatsuki's tomboyish style. Her features were cute, symmetric, with two round eyes in the middle, big as saucers, in the color of the most magnificent ashen-grey, he could only compare to Orihime's...

She laughed. Her laugh was the same like Orihime's too, twinkling, reminding him of sunshine and birds singing. It was also a little embarrassed, and apologetic, just like she used to make it. But then the girl seemed to collect herself, and her smile melted, giving place to a mild scowl, one that was utterly out of place, yet right there...

'I'm sorry.' she said. 'I had to intervene... I couldn't just watch! I had the key to make everything right all along, and I so wanted to! Now, with this thing in my hand, I finally can!' she looked down, and uncurled her fingers from around the hogyoku, which was now shining with a steady blue light. It looked so innocent now, sitting on her palm, like some toy, or a piece of candy.

'What do you mean "you had the key all along"?' Ichigo asked.

The girl smiled.

'I have my own power. This thing didn't give that to me, but it awakened it. I'm ready to use it to help.'

'What power?'

'Just like my mother, I can reject. I can reject time.'

'Time?'

Ichigo was trying very hard to keep up with things, but in truth, ever since he first laid eyes on this fascinating girl, he could hardly form one coherent thought. It was like everything had suddenly become too much, and his brain just melted...

'I will give you this chance... send you back in time. To restore the balance of things...' she smiled at him once more, lifting her hands (one still holding the hogyoku) palms facing out, to take up the familiar stance Orihime always used for activating her powers.

'Wait!' Ichigo cried, and she looked up curiously, her mouth already open to form the commanding words. 'Er... thank you?'

She smiled even more.

'You're welcome. The least I can do!'

'Would you tell me your name?' Ichigo asked.

She closed her eyes, contemplating his request.

'I'm Miyako.' she finally granted him the answer. 'Don't forget me, ok?'

'Never.' Ichigo assured her seriously.

She sighed big.

'All right. Here it goes! I reject!'

…...

It was just a blink of an eye. When Ichigo opened his eyes, he found himself basked in broad daylight, standing in the middle of a street in Karakura town. The change was so abrupt, that he needed a few seconds before he was able to move, and try thinking of a plan.

_'Why did she send me here? Did I really go back in time? To where?'_

Suddenly he heard a familiar sound, and turned around sharply. It was Orihime's laugh. He soon saw her, but then his jaw dropped right down. She was holding the hand of someone, a spiky orange haired punk! It took him a minute to realize that he was now seeing himself... The weirdest feeling so far in his already well-experienced life.

He quickly hid himself behind a tree-trunk, and tried to pinpoint their location, and searching for a memory to link the current situation to. He needed to know exactly where he was... or WHEN anyway. He heard Orihime talking about her newest art project, and that dimly ringed a bell.

While he was still only trying to shake his brain into properly functioning again after the shock of the time-travel, and of seeing himself, he could hear the familiar sound of his long-lost soul reaper substitute badge's alarm to go off in the distance. And it clicked in. He suddenly knew exactly where and when he was. Right where he had to be to make everything fall back in it's place, just as Miyako said.

He saw his alter ego reach into his pocket, and a moment later he was already changed. Ichigo couldn't help the surge of pride running through him at the sight of the black shikhansho. He knew from where the hollow would attack, even if his other self didn't, and it took something not to run after it when he saw the monster grab Orihime and run off with her. He quickly reminded himself that he already knew how this story ended, and that the soul reaper Ichigo would save her, even if he was currently wasting time with needless cursing.

Soon Ichigo was left alone on the street, with only his abandoned real body, laying somewhat awkwardly across the pavement. He stayed behind the tree, only watching.

He felt it before he could see it. A screeching sound. A tear in the sky. The swirling blackness of an opening guarganta. A tall black robbed figure stepped out. He was alone, and his moves seemed confident. Ichigo reached to his back, and as quietly as he could, he drew Zangetsu out. He pushed the boiling sourness inside him back as he slowly neared the stranger, who was now crouching down next to his body.

'Well, hi there, Cayo! Thought I would run into you here...'

The other had only time to gawk distractedly, before he brought Zangetsu's blade down on his outstretched right hand which was holding his substitute badge. He guessed that people who conspired with Aizen deserved no civility of a warning before an attack...

Cayo screamed. First in agony, then in anger.

'Bastard! You'll pay for this! Who the hell are you? I thought you were...'

Ichigo grinned.

'That...' he said, while delivering his second blow, which Cayo tried to hold off, wielding his sword with his left. '… is a long story.'

His third strike pierced through his enemy's body. Cayo only had time for a muffled last curse, before his spirit body exploded and vanished without a trace.

'And I have no intention of telling it.' Ichigo finished.

He sighed deeply to calm himself. It was surprisingly easy. He only felt the satisfaction of doing the right thing, not the triumph of the strongest, or the delight of bloodshed after the battle. Even his vision had remained clear all through the fight, it never darkened, showing that his hollow instincts were hardly stirred. He went to examine the battlefield, his mind miraculously clear. He soon found what he was searching for, and picking up the substitute badge, he carefully replaced it into it's pocket inside the jeans his body was wearing.

He was just in time. He heard voices near by, and went back to hide behind that tree again. In the distance, he saw the end of the soul reaper Ichigo's fight. He had just cut the hollow down.

'Orihime! Are you all right?'

'Don't be silly. Of course I'm all right. You protected me... as always.'

It was totally confusing to see and hear all this from an outsider's point of view. He saw Orihime leaning in for a kiss...

'Heal yourself first!'

'Really! This is nothing!'

'For me, it's not.'

He remembered this conversation quite clearly of course...

Orihime called out her powers, and the golden dome worked it's magic on her. The soul reaper Ichigo then allowed her a quick kiss.

'And now... let's get my body back, before some idiot takes it to the hospital again!' he said, scowling.

'All right!'

Ichigo walked behind the pair, keeping a nice distance, so that they wouldn't spot him, as they proceeded to Orihime's apartment. He snickered quite a few times at how reserved their goodbyes seemed to him, with only a few chaste kisses, and not even a decent hug. Still the human Ichigo was blushing faintly as he finally turned, and started his lonely journey back to his own home.

Ichigo waited until his human self reached a secluded ally before approaching him... He had a faint idea that this was the only way to do it. They had to come face to face. He scowled absent mindedly as he tried to imagine the possibilities. But since there was no way around it, he supposed there was no use putting it off. Not to mention how uncomfortable it would be for him to stay in this 'past' for long. He had to return.

The human Ichigo must have felt something, because he suddenly stopped.

'You can turn around. I won't hurt you.' he assured him, aiming to sound as friendly as he could.

The human Ichigo did turn. Brown eyes widened wide.

'What?... Who?... How...?'

'I am you. Another half, if you may.'

He opened his mouth, then closed it back again. But when he did speak, it was violent cursing.

'Shit!… Another half my ass! I must be going mad! How come you bastard are suddenly out of my inner world?'

Ichigo sighed impatiently.

'The answers don't matter. You'll know one day anyway. Whether you accept it or not, I've always been, and always will be your other half. And now... Together, we can be whole again.'

And he reached out to touch him.

…...

Again, it was only a blink of an eye. Ichigo was just as unprepared as before, as he suddenly found himself in a whole new setting. What made the experience even more confusing was, that he seemed to be lying down, so even his perspective was suddenly turned sideways. He was inside a room that seemed totally unfamiliar at first, but not unfriendly. But as he kept watching the leaf patterned curtains, and the furniture, he suddenly felt them to be familiar despite remaining firm about never having seen them before.

Suddenly, he felt a weird sensation... slight movement. He looked down, and saw a little orange head resting peacefully against his chest. Ichigo's breath hitched. There was a cute button nose, two rosy cheeks, a little pouting mouth to go with the head too. The little baby's eyes were closed, and her little chest rose and fell rhythmically, while her small hands were balled into tiny fists in her sleep. Her breath slightly tickled Ichigo's skin, where his shirt parted. Looking, he realized that there was no hollow hole on his chest any more...

He could feel a rich warmness radiating from the little girl's body, filling him with something... And he could feel his very own heart beat under his skin in response.

Emotions.

He moved a hand to his face, touching his eyes, and felt a little moisture. This was proof. He felt glad, relieved, even proud, that he was somebody who could cry.

The little girl was stirring in his lap, her fingers curling unconsciously into the fabric of his shirt. Ichigo smiled. Finally she lifted her head a little, opening two sleepy eyes.

'Miyako...' Ichigo greeted, recognition kindling in his eyes instantly.

The baby girl rewarded him with a cute smile.

'Ichigo!' he heard someone whisper.

He lifted his head, and saw Orihime tiptoeing inside the room, apron tied before herself, and a ladle in hand.

'Do you allow walnut in the stew? I think it would be delicious!' she rumbled hurriedly, still in a whisper. 'I could coat it with caramel, I think that's the best... ah! She's awake!' she added more loud, smiling down on their daughter. 'Hi, Darling! Mommy's making dinner!'

Then she turned back to her husband, and opened her mouth to speak again, but something made her stop. She raised her hand tentatively to his face, while a worried expression settled on her features. Her fingers brushed caresingly against his skin, wiping away the remains of his tears.

'Something's wrong?' she asked gently.

He grabbed her hand, pressing it firmly against his cheek. He closed his eyes for a second, trying to calm his over-brimming heart. Then he looked at her, with a smile.

'Nothing. Nothing's wrong. I'm... I'm just so happy to be... home.'

He firmly pulled her down, to sit next to them on the sofa, apron and everything, and he half sat up, supporting Miyako firmly with one hand, and putting the other behind Orihime's neck, so that he could kiss her.

He won't tell her everything. Not now anyway. Honestly he himself was not sure whether he was able to cope with everything yet. He had made a long, painful journey, that existed for him only now. He would have to learn to live with that. But he fully intended to tell her how lucky he thought he was to have her... to be able to love her... with his full heart.

…...

_A/N: Well... What do you think? I hope the narrative wasn't too confusing, with constant skips, and two Ichigo's... Please tell me! I'm real anxious about this! Originally, I didn't want to use time-travel, because I think it was a nasty deus-ex-machina from my part, but this was the only way to do a full happy ending. If I really do that alternate ending I told you about earlier, at least some losses would be unavoidable._

_Anyway, there's still the epilogue to this, to give you a clearer view of the aftermath. _

_Hope to hear from you! Please review!_


	13. Chapter 13

_Epilogue_

Time went by as it should. Some things were confusing to Ichigo at first, but accommodating to his new, well-deserved happy life was more easy than he would have guessed. It was strange, but he came to realize, that he could actually call memories forth from the nearly two years he had missed (or rather lived differently). The sensation was like the knowledge was inside his mind, he only needed some trigger to call it forth.

'You remember, Ichigo...' Orihime called on his third day '... that I'm going out with Tatsuki this afternoon. We hardly saw each other lately, not since they got together with Uryu-kun!'

Ichigo blinked. The new information unlocked a few unregistered memories again. And in seconds, Orihime's statement lost all it's surprise factor. Of course. Tatsuki and Ishida even came together to their wedding, though they still both firmly denied the relationship then. Oh gosh! Their wedding!

He grasped at the memories desperately, and they unfolded obediently enough, like a slowly blooming flower. Like all memories, they weren't full-detailed, like some film, but they brought tonnes of emotions with them, that made up for the gaps. He was able to call an almost perfect picture forth of Orihime in her white dress though, and her happy smile...

'Ichigo? Ichigo!'

He shook himself slightly at her calling voice, returning to reality. Orihime was looking at him with a little concern.

'You've been spaced out again... you do that a lot lately.'

He smiled.

'Sorry about that.' he said, and pulled Orihime close for a kiss.

She didn't expect the kiss to be as passionate as it was, so it surprised her. She started to giggle, with a hint of totally unnecessary embarrassment.

'What was that for?'

'Just for loving you. I'm glad you're gonna have fun with Tatsuki. I think I'm going to take Miyako out to the park, if that's ok.'

She smiled, and kissed him back.

'You're the best Daddy ever!'

'I'm trying. And did I already mention I love you?'

'Ding, ding ding! We have a winner to our annual "Best daddy and husband contest"!'

It didn't take much time, and his new memories already started to feel more solid and real than the dark memories of that other time-line, than the memories of his life as a hollow. They almost seemed like a bad dream now. Except that he had some proof to remind him of it's reality.

When he first transformed to his soul reaper form to take care of a hollow, all his friends were shocked to see the bloody red marks running across his face. They were like some weird tattoo, shaped exactly like the markings on his mask used to. The marks came with a new boost of power, just like every transformation he had so far, but he had enough former practice in that to adjust to it quickly. Only problem was handling Soul Society's freaking out over it, because of it's "hollowish feel"... But even they weren't as strict about it any more as they used to be in the past.

Unfortunately, they had to include Urahara in the smoothing out of things. That was the cause of the most headache for Ichigo. He knew that the answers he could give to the exceptional scientist's questions wouldn't be enough, but how could he tell the full truth? It seemed too incomprehensible for him to even try to explain. But Orihime insisted that she wouldn't feel secure until Urahara-san had sad something on Ichigo's "disturbing new change in power", so he had to submit himself to the man's inspection to calm his wife's anxiety for his welfare.

'So, what do you think, Urahara-san?' Orihime asked.

They were sitting in the dining-room of the Urahara Shop, gathered around the low round table. Orihime shifted nervously, while she kept rocking Miyako in her lap. Urahara had just finished his examination. He had made Ichigo transform, and fight a little with Yoruichi down in the basement.

'I don't know, Ino... pardon me! Kurosaki-san! But the transformation seems solid, and comparable with his powers. And he had many strange changes before. As to what caused it, I have no idea, but about HIM I wouldn't worry...'

Ichigo noticed the strange emphasis on the "him", but since Orihime seemed so much relieved, he didn't dare ask the scientist to elaborate. Something told him it would be unwise anyway. So he simply settled for lifting an eyebrow and scowling.

'Well, I'm glad then. I've been worried.' Orihime sighed, smiling down at her baby daughter, who was playing with the shiny buttons at the front of her robe.

'Have you noticed any other changes? Behavior? Customs? Speech?' Urahara asked.

'All right! Enough with the inspection already!' Ichigo declared grumpily.

'Ah... and I haven't even asked about your love life... Kidding! Only kidding!' Urahara joked, quickly jumping out of Ichigo's arm's reach.

Ichigo tried to remove the deathly glare from his face before he turned to his wife.

'Hime... we should head home. It's late already, and Miyako haven't had dinner yet.'

Orihime frowned.

'Look... I'm fine! Really! But if it makes you feel better, I promise you that if I feel anything else out of place, I'll come here myself and report it. Is that fine?' Ichigo added confidently.

Orihime finally smiled.

'Deal!' she agreed, sounding relieved.

So the Kurosaki family said their goodbyes, and after they secured Miyako in her carriage, Urahara and Yoruichi walked them out of the shop. The two longtime friends stood in the doorway watching the three orange-heads depart.

'So... what do you **really** think, Kisuke? You know how well I know you, it's useless to hide it from me.'

'You know, Yoruichi...' Urahara slowly began. 'I may be a great scientist, knowing things that are hidden from the common eyes, but there are things that I'll still never know...'

'What do you mean?'

'It seems to me that the hogyoku have finally abandoned Aizen, and chosen a new hiding-place for itself.'

'What?' Yoruichi cried, mewling like a cat who had it's tail stepped on.

Urahara wasn't shaken by her outburst, he continued to look the same meditating way as before.

'You mean Ichigo?' she asked more quietly.

'No.' Urahara replied simply. He took an apple out of his pocket, cleaned it carefully with the hem of his cloak, and took a bite, chewing thoughtfully. 'Though I'm convinced I see this right I have no idea how on earth it managed to hide itself so mysteriously inside Kurosaki-san's daughter.'

Yoruichi turned to her companion sharply, wearing a horrified expression. Unfortunately, she had known Kisuke for quite a long time now to know that he wouldn't joke about something like this, so all hope of that kind would be in vain. So, she collected herself somewhat, and asked:

'Do you think they know? Ichigo?'

'I wonder about that myself... But I think it's safe to assume it's linked somehow to his mysterious new transformation. He clearly knows more about this business than he's letting on. '

The Kurosaki family turned at the corner, and waved back to them, Orihime enthusiastically, the little girl experimentally, and Ichigo just half heartedly. Urahara and Yoruichi waved back.

'What do we do about it?' Yoruichi asked in a needless whisper. The family was well out of earshot.

Urahara smiled. He took another bite from the apple, and watched Ichigo bending down, and gently arranging the hat on Miyako's little head, so that the sun wouldn't hurt her eyes, as Orihime pushed her carriage. One more moment, and the family turned the corner, vanishing from sight.

'Nothing.' Urahara answered simply. 'It's probably all for the best... I can't think of any safer place for it anyway... So... we're just gonna keep on watching...'

...

_A/N: Thank you for all the reviews, favs and alerts! Your attention has been really encouraging! I'll mark this story as "complete", until I decide to write the alternate ending. Please review!_

_( chosen name's meaning: Miyako – mi:beautiful, ya: night, ko: child)_


End file.
